#the moment you get a sibling you cant stop being one. your world is no longer just yours its bigger. meaner. kinder.

[aslyran]

Yunmeng shuangjie feels

[sensitivegoblin]

Vent

Tw: sewerslide and SH

[loloelia]

Hey so.....i already have an au BUT....I got an idea for another one....

So basicly Lamb gets executed and meets Narinder and all the basics but when the Lamb comes back to life BUT

The Bishops havent left ,and when Shamura sees the red crown ,theyre a little shocked but start to think that the Lamb is just Narinder ,a little sibling ,and theyre so happy that all the younger sibling dont really want to take their happiness away and so they dont try to stop it ,and the Lamb theyve never felt such love so they accept it,they accept Shamura's hug,and before akyone could do or even say anything ,Shamura just walks away the Lamb still close to them and orders the other to follow ,wich Leshy does first cuz hes kinda confused ans hes like "maybe it is narinder,but whys he Nice now ?" But the older siblings follow because theyre concerned ,the lamb could still hurt them.

And time passes and Shamura DID NOT let go of the Lamb ,they bring them to their sermon ,and theyre like "Oh my dear followers five had become four and now four becomes five again"(still thinking the lamb was Narinder) followed by mostly them reapeating that sentence ,

now now the Lamb was confused because the GOD OF WAR WHO KILLED THEM is all happy ,telling stories ,being always so happy Narinder's back and hes being better (hes very much not )

And Leshy after a while when Shamura's telling stories to all the siblings he kinda grabs the lamb's wool ,and realizes its the lamb not narinder and honestly......HES DOES NOT GIVE A SINGLE FUCK

Hell hes happy he got another sibling to annoy ,and one that is smaller than him so its even better to annoy. And this one cant really hurt them ,since their arm is always in the claw of the god of WAR ,so they kinda just accept it ,and plays with this New sibling(he just pulls their wools, trows dirt on them ,and play with their bell)

Now after a while ,the Joy of shamura is replaced by their usual headaches,so shamura stays in bed ,and you know the lamb doesnt have to be glued to their side ,so they go out into silk cradle and everyone bows to them because you know ,shamura introduced them as the fufth bishop ,as narinder. But as they go deeper into silk cradle ,and they stumble on some random dissenter,and they get killed because ,well ratau was never there to teach them how to fight,

And so they die and narinder is fucking PISSED, because the lamb was supposed to free him ,not follow shamura around as the fifth sibling ,as HIM . But lamb ,they liked being cradled like they never got to be by anyone ,so they ask "But my lord... what if instead ......i convinced your siblings to free you.....?"

Now ,Narinder is NOT CONVINCED ,because he doubts his siblings would ever do that but he rolls his eyes and says "little lamb. Your plan is doomed to fail. But i will give you one single chance now go ,vessel. Youre next time here will be the last thing you will ever see"and so he let them go

Back to the living world their back in shamuras temple ,right next to shamura's room ,where shamura is bleeding right there on their bed ,while kallamar gets them new clean bandages ,the lamb is obviously saddened and tries to step in the room but is stopped by Heket grabbing their collar holding them in the air looking at the lamb with a cold glares ,the lalb knows that while shamura always want them around ,leshy plays with them all the time,and kallamar is too scared of the red crown's powers , Heket never even looked their way,

And now that she did,it was terrifying ,no words were qpoken until one moment when her gaze left the lamb's eyes and she said "not...now.....little lamb....not....now....." before putting them down gently and getting in shamura's room and closing the door behind her

.........

(Wait......im turning this into a fucking novel when no one cares ,so anyway if you see this @joffyworld (sorry for the tag)or anyone really,well first thank you oh my god and also can ya tell me if you want me to continue or if il being a weird ass bitch ??)

( also lil drawing of this)

[sincerely-sofie]

Did you ever think up a name for the goat's patron? Curious because I love their desgin and I cant get them out of my head. Also, if its not too much trouble, do you mind going into your thoughts behind their design? For some reason I interpret it as vaugely Chinese/Journey to the West inspired (which has partly resulted in me calling them pigsy in my head), but idk if thats your you were going for.

(referencing the design found in this post)

Her name is Freya! She's the goddess of both life and death in her world, chained by her siblings to guarantee themselves immortality. She was freed from her chains by the Goat stealing her siblings' crowns and using their weapons to sacrifice himself in a vicious ritual that should have led to him being impossible to bring back from death's clutches. But Freya was terrified of losing him, and tried to stop him from slipping away as he died. She only managed to pin him between life and death, trapping him in the moments of his passing for what seemed like eons... Until a newly-crowned goddess from another world with an affinity for such things found and released him. (At least in the scrapped storyline / alternative AU where he appears!)

The main inspiration behind her design was that I wanted her to be an animal that's seen positively or negatively depending on the culture it's in, and has a connection with luck in order to contrast Narinder's being a black cat and fulfilling those requirements as well. So I made her a pig as a result!

I wanted her to contrast the Goat's very gloomy and dark design. She would have warm brown, bright gold, and vivid purple as her central colors as a result, though I didn't color her in the piece she appears in, so that's not clear at all, haha.

I'm not the best at conveying it in my art, but Narinder, at least in his updated design I never really draw, is meant to have diamonds as the main shape that his design is built around. He's supposed to have diamond-shaped eyes, ears, face, etcetera. And Freya has hearts to contrast that! A shape that has roundedness to its points.

I wasn't very inspired by Chinese motifs while designing Freya beyond the symbolism of pigs in that culture helping me choose her species. But her earrings were semi-inspired by furin wind chimes, which originate in Japan! You can read about those on their Wikipedia page here. I imagine that Freya would be the inspiration behind her world's lore for their version of furin.

As a little bit of parting trivia: the Goat was the one to do all of the plotting to free Freya, contrasting the Lamb and Narinder's dynamic. He was so utterly head over heels for her after she saved him from the massacre of his people, ashamed of her siblings' actions, that he was willing to do whatever it took for her to see the world she loved again, free of shackles.

[platonicallylovesick]

Some more "ppl defending Mrs. Bakugo" crimes against my mental wellbeing

People on titok are genuinely insane oml

"It's not abuse tho abuse is where its mentally and emotionally affecting the child's well being. and i think Bakugo is completely fine since thats his family's love language." GURL WHAT. GURL. DID YOU WATCH THE SAME SHOW?? IS BAKUGO DEVELOPING A CRIPPLING INFERIORITY COMPLEX AT THE AGE OF 6 NOT AFFECTING HIS WELLBEING???

"this is just for comedy... plus Bakugo is a brat and needs to be slapped sometimes" literally no child *NEEDS* to be slapped. the 16 yr old boy does not NEED to be slapped and esp not in front of his teachers who he genuinely looks up to and respects? ESP NOT WHILE BEING TOLD HE'S THE REASON THAT THEY NEED TO BE MOVED INTO DORMS IN THE FIRST PLACE????

"They're just messing around, have you never had a good relationship with your mother?" I have a lovely relationship with my mom, and there is a SOLID different between being lightly and playfully smacked on the shoulder during a lighthearted conversation AND BEING HIT ACROSS THE HEAD WHILE BEING YELLED AT TO SHUT UP IN FRONT OF *MY ONLY IDOL*

"Plus lets not forget in the earlier seasons this dude was a BULLY plus if you look at Bakugo he isnt even phased by her words he's just mad cuz she hit him. also if you watch the rest of the episode, Mitsuki says to All Might and Aizawa to take care of Katsuki and shows worry for him" oh so there's plenty to unpack here! First up. I WONDER WHY HE WAS A BULLY? I WONDER WHERE THAT 5 YEAR OLD LEARNED THOSE BEHAVIORS?? IT WASNT FROM ALL MIGHT VIDEOS, I PROMISE YOU THAT ?! Next up: "he isnt even phased, he's just mad she hit him." Bbg if you're told you're trash even just once a week for at least a year, you will stop reacting to it every time, in the moment. that does not change the mental stress it puts on you. Now add in the factors of "its def more than just once a week," "that is his MOTHER," "He's already immensely guilty about the situation," and "HE IS A CHILD." Then we have, "He's just mad she hit him." YOU'RE TELLING ME. YOU WOULD NOT BE UPSET. IF YOU WERE HIT BY YOUR MOTHER. IN FRONT OF *ANYONE* YOU RESPECT. LET ALONE THE LITERAL SYMBOL OF PEACE. WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE HIT BY *YOUR* MOTHER IN FRONT OF FUCKING IRON MAN?!

Last but MOST CERTAINLY not least: "She shows worry for him." Babe imma hold your hand in an white knuckle grip when i tell you this. I don't think you've ever been abused in your life. Because you do know that most abusers don't wake up thinking "MAN today will be a great day to torment my only son," right? She doesnt think she's abusing him. She's just doing what comes natural to her. She isnt reflecting on what effect her actions have had on her kid, she's the mother so ofc she's in the right and she loves her son so clearly the problem is his peers praising his powers too much, I cant possibly be to blame because i love him! She doesn't think about how its affecting him at all. Hell, it could even be a cycle bc honestly it already is one. When Katsuki is faced with unruly children he correctly identifies that there's some kind of lead kid (because he was a lead kid at that age, he was a problem child), and then HIS SOLUTION IS TO PHYSICALLY FIGHT THE KIDS, USING THE JUSTIFICATION THAT THAT WAS HOW HE WAS RAISED AND IN HIS OPINION HE TURNED OUT FINE.

This is actually a trap I've fallen into myself, I have recommended a little more tough love against my little siblings because I was treated much more harshly at that age than they are now. I WAS NOT IN THE RIGHT. KATSUKI IS NOT IN THE RIGHT. THIS IS HOW MALTREATMENT CHANGES A CHILD'S MIND. THIS IS HOW IT WARPS OUR VIEW OF THE WORLD AROUND US. Unless he gets some serious SERIOUS help, he will carry these experiences with him for the rest of his life. He might become just as terrible a parent as his mother.

His behavior is not his fault. He is a CHILD. A MINOR. If he was in his twenties and has experienced life firsthand and he was still being a bully for no reason or being physically violent with minimal to no provocation, I would agree that he needs a serious wakeup call. Still wouldnt agree with hitting him, but like yeah he's an adult, his prefrontal cortex is fully developed, he should be self reflecting. But AT SIXTEEN. HE IS A CHILD, A LITERAL CHILD. THIS KIND OF HOUSEHOLD ENVIROMENT IS ALL HE FUCKING KNOWS. IT IS THE RESULT OF HOW HIS PARENTS RAISED HIM, WHICH WAS TOXIC, ABUSIVE, AND EMOTIONALLY NEGLECTFUL.

Shoutout to the one guy in that comment section fighting for his life making good points as to the fact that YES Mitsuki is the fucking issue.

[yeonmuse]

LIP GLOSS AND SECRETS OF SUMMER | Eric Sohn

Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Full Chapter Log

🐚 Surfer Eric x oc

🐚 genre | college au| summer love | slow burn| mature topics | strangers to lovers | minor love triangle

🐚 summary | Upon arriving at her new university Park Naokei finds herself falling into a world of chaos as drama unfolds with her new found friends. By the time summer break arrives newfound feelings and crushes spark amists the summer fun. Slowly our oc finds herself trapped between the likes of two guys and it all started with her occasional swimming lessons from the one and only Eric Sohn.

🐚 word count | 1.4k

🐚 important details ; Nzeka Park (neh- zeh- ka) is our main character. known as Nezza by those she calls friends while her close family calls her NeNe . Her father passed away when she was fifteen leaving her with her stepmother who she believes absolutely hates her guts. The girl has two younger siblings, both boys with the youngest being four his name is Aiki short for aikime while the oldest being eight his name was Juni, she also has an older sister named Kiome that moved away to America when she turned eighteen. Park Naokei is twenty and has a huge scar on the back of her thigh from an accident her family had long ago when she was only 5. Though she doesn't know how to swim, She's in love with the ocean and has been fascinated by it since she was a child.

Final authors notes: this is a multipart series with more that 20+ parts, there are few mature topics like death mentions and slight angst topics. Other than that this series is full of somer vibes and playful moments between our characters. For those reading thank you so much for coming along this ride even if at some point you stop reading.

Two days. Two days had passed since the incedent at the swimmeet. Two days in which Nezza had to put up with the stares and looks of pitty she recieved from others. She had found out from Sooah that some girl named Soyeon had been the one to push her that day. When she confronted her, the girl played dumb as if she didn't even know what Nezza had been yapping about but of course Nezza was well aware she was lying. If it hadn't been for Yeosang pulling the girl away she'd have slapped her right where she stood, but it was best she didn't make a scene and honestly she wasn't even worth it.

According to Wooyoung and San Soyeon and Seonghwa had some sort of relationship in the past. This caused Nao to assume that Soyeon must have saw the two laughing and talking to one another at the pool that day and felt threatened. That was one thing that Nezza absolutely hated when it came to other girls, she hated types like her. She understood being protective over your boyfriend or girlfriend but to be a bitch over someone that wasn't even hers was annoying and ignorant.

Today was the weekend and Nezza found herself back in the place in which she could have lost herself days prior. There she sat at the edge of the pool running her fingers through the cold water. She thought it to be pathetic, twenty years old and she couldn't swim it was ridiculous. For her to have such a huge love for the ocean and she never even had the opportunity to learn to swim. Her fear was yet another thing that stopped her from learning, having lost her mother to the one thing she had always adorned most.

_______

"Wake up little otter moms got breakfast ready." A five year old Nao lie hidden beneath her covers as her father tried to shake her awake.

"Okayy if you wont wake up I guess we cant go to the new exhibit to see all those new fish." Her father breathe out a fake sigh before getting up from the bed.

Nezzas ears perked up upon hearing what he said and she immediately shot up in bed.

"New exhibit? Are there going to be turtles and jellyfish??" She happily threw her blanket to the side as her father chuckled and lifted her up from the bed.

"You don't need to go to an exhibit to see a turtle when you can just see one whenever you look in the mirror." Her father teased while using her hair to cover her ears to make her look turtle like.

"Hey! Im no turtle."

"I agree with dad you do kind of look like a turtle." An eight year old Kiome chimes in on their conversation causing Nezza to scrunch up her nose.

"Yah, I dont remember watching your mother give birth to a turtle and a frog." Her father teased as he lifts Kiome into his arms as well and carries the both of them down into the kitchen.

"Hey!" The sisters both scream in unison, both having turned sulky from their fathers teasing.

"Mom! Dad called me a turtle!"

"And me a frog!"

Both girls immediately rat out their father to their mom which made their mother laugh and their father stare at the two in disbelief as if he had just been betrayed.

"The cutest little frog and turtle the world has ever seen. Your father is only upset because squids aren't as cute as frogs and turtles." Both girls laugh at their mother having called their dad a squid all while their father just stared at the three in disbelief.

"Dad what is mom?!" Nezza screams out in between giggles.

"Hm your mother? Well your mothers too beautiful to be any normal fish. Your mother here well shes one of the prettiest creatures in the sea she's a mermaid." He says this as his arms wrapped around her waist and he left loving kisses on her face.

"Ewwww" the two girls both blurt in unison.

Later that day Nezzas mother had returned from taking Kiome to her friend's birthday party just in time to see her adorable little girl all dressed for their outing. She wore a light blue fluffy dress with bows in her hair.

"Look at my adorable little sea princess." Her father swoons as he lifts her into his arms.

"A sea princess and A mermaid boy am I lucky." He spoke as he watched his wife enter the room in her silk white dress and pearls.

"Daddy give mommy her gift!" Nezza screams as she watched her mom grab her purse.

"Oh a gift hm?" Her mother responds with a grin on her face.

"Well it was meant to be for dinner tonight but." Setting Nezza on the couch he pulls a box from his hands. As he opened it her mother's eyes fell upon a silver necklace with a blue jellyfish and seashell. Representation of the day her father had asked her mother to be his for the first time. Of course her mother cried the moment he put it around her neck but her crying was cut short as Nezza rushed the two to leave the house which only earned laughter from her parents.

When they had finally arrived at the large exhibit the excitement was overwhelming for Nezza. Her eyes glistened under the lights as she took in the aquarium lobby with a look of awe. She was most excited for the jellyfish, they were her favorite just like her mother's. She knew everything she knew about fish and the ocean because of her mother, her mother having been a marine biologist while her father owned his own diving business at the time.

"Do you remember what I taught you about these little guys?" Her mother asks her as she points out at the glass where the jellyfish were.

"Aequorea victoria, dad calls them crystal jelly!" She squeals happily as her eyes remained glued to the glass in front of her. She could watch them for hours.

"Such a smart little girl we raised."

"Indeed we did." Her father chuckles as the three of them stood watching the jellyfish dance against the water.

Their silent admiration was cut short as screams projected throughout the exhibit. It all happened so fast. The glass cracking, the water rushing in. Her father was able to save her in time but her mother...her mother was gone.

🪼

"You look pretty lost to your thoughts." Nezza was pulled out of her silent reminiscing as she heard someone speak beside her. She quickly brushed the tears from her eyes before he could notice and cleared her throat.

"Um Eric, youre Eric right? I was meant to thank you. If it wasn't for you i'd have drowned in front of the entire university." She lets out a soft laugh as she glanced at the spot in which she had nearly died.

"No need, it was the right thing to do. You were holding on pretty tight though i'd have to admit." He laughs and at his words she silently cursed herself. Sooah had told her she was clinging to him but she didn't want to believe it herself.

"Ah right sorry about that I guess I was just really shocked."

"Its okay, it actually reminded me of this one time my grandfather took me swimming at the beach and this starfish got stuck to my leg." He laughs as he throws his things down onto the bleachers.

"You have a name? Or should I just call you starfish?" He jokes which causes her to roll her eyes.

"Nezza, call me Nezza." She responds before finally turning to face him. As she was finally able to see him clearly for the first time she found herself understanding why every girl in school seemed to have eyes for him, he was surely handsome.

"You know what I think I like starfish better." He responds half jokingly at which she simply scoffs at. The nickname making her nose scrunch up exactly how it once would when her father would call her a turtle as a child.

"And what does that make you?" She asks looking up at him with questioning look on her face.

"Eric Obviously." He responds and she cringes at his answer as she stood up from her spot beside the pool.

"Well Eric." She responds, putting extra emphasis on the C. "Thanks again for your help. Im assuming you have to practice so i'll leave you to it." Once again just like the last time she was out of sight and he still hasn't spoken a word about his lucky towel.

"See you around Starfish."

[the-flys-buzz]

ANOTHER LYRIC DISSECTION 💔💔💔

“Floral sheets on long-given-up ghost, haunt my bedroom at night and say ‘Let’s get you home.’”

the ‘long-given-up ghosts’ line is william referring to his birth parents and how he left them behind in favor of traveling different universes. the haunt part is talking about how he still thinks of them with some sense of guilt! he probably sees the ‘lets get you home’ bit as them (his birth parents) telling him that.

“But come and braille-palm-read and hold my hand, see my reason and ‘Goodbye cruel world.’”

sounds odd, but i see this line as william try to explain what is emotions are like. i dont know why it just makes sense to me. likely him just rambling to steven about random things his brain says sometimes.

“And oh my god, what’s wrong with me?”

oh this one is easy. exactly what it sounds like. william asks himself this sometimes after he does something impulsive that he didnt mean to do. probably a lot after he snaps at steven.

“I’d rather stay asleep than never see you wake up next to me.”

this one is taken less literally. moreso in the sense that william would rather hide in his steven mindset than see steven whenever hes acting like abel, scott, etc.

“To incubate the shadows you can’t stitch back to your soles.”

wah!!!! william reminiscing on the actual good memories he has from his early childhood and realizing he cant get those moments back with his old family. hence, why he grips onto steven, jake, and his siblings so hard.

“And you seemed fine just a few days ago.”

i see this as steven talking to william actually. he has mentioned how william can go from happy and energetic to more stern and upset when hes using the phonehead form.

“Well, now you swear in your prayers telling time ‘Promise I’ll never have fun again, if you’d stop flying,’ but then you start crying ‘Never mind, you win.’”

steven probably bringing up what william says when hes a phonehead himself. how he'll 'do better' if steven stops acting a certain way himself. the last bit is when william gives up and eventually goes back to normal via a breakdown.

“And far too late came far too soon. And the love you never made became the things you’d never do.”

in reference to the impact steven has had on williams stability emotionally/mentally as well as the traits william has picked up from him. the ‘far too late came far too soon’ is in reference to steven not noticing it sooner. the ‘love you never made became the things you’d never do’ bit could be seen as williams missed opportunities in life now that he aims to follow in stevens footsteps.

“So come on, William, grow up, be a man, ‘cause until then they’re gonna treat you like you’re just a little girl.”

THIS LYRIC TAKES ME OUT EVERYTIME. it fits so well. how william thinks that people will see him as nothing but a kid if he doesnt act mature enough. how william is still concerned people will see him as a girl despite him being openly trans. OUH. this one is the entire reason this lyric dissection exists.

“It’s me who cries mercy while your fingers curl and, oh, are you at all like me?”

feels like william making a desperate attempt to reason with steven. especially the ‘it’s me who cries mercy while your fingers curl’ part. the ‘oh, are you at all like me?’ is a rhetorical question. he ask that to try and get steven to understand what hes doing is wrong.

“Do you know what I mean? Or am I too close to see? Someone, anyone?”

william trying to explain himself. likely what he feels like when no one is responding to his rambling how he expected. he doesnt like when hes wrong about something hes rambling about.

“Well, here is the church, here is the steeple. Open the doors, see all the people.”

this one refers to a memory william has of basically this exact thing. several people at an altar at a church, holding each other and comforting each other. hes not religious but he at that moment wanted that kind of comfort.

“Alright, that’s enough, let’s get you home.”

obvious one. after all of this, steven offering him the comfort he needs. in this case, steven is quite literally the home this references.

OUH. @ask-steven-stevenson th. this is a long one but OH WELL. you did wanna be tagged i think..... as a little bonus!!!!

thats the songs meaning. so uhrm. yeh that definitely adds on❤️

[trashbins-stuff]

the hollowheads rant again bc im crazyyy, chodarksec specifically

chosec is full of apologies

ive seen alot of ppl interpating sec looking up to cho as an older siblings and hoenstly..i agree! its lovely yes but also, to me, it is one sided and its coming from cho, like your successor turn out to be pwoerful enough to fight your best friend (and then kill her) AND he fight like four different people at once too!! how could he be any prouder. But he kind of dragged them into all of this, sec doesnt wanna fight, they think cho revived them and their friends and defeat the dark lord, all of that, while also dragging them head first into danger, getting them killed in the first place, kidnap them again, then they had to fight a bunch of strangers and then got kidnap AGAIN. But he saved them..they arent ALLOWED to hate him, they arent allowed to feel anything but appreciation and admiration and cho is just sorry. I guess this is how its geos when you meet your predessecor, i mean imagone if you were someone's return, yoire not even your own perspn youre whats supposed to come after them, youre what they imagined of them what they wanted from them, but second had a life outside of that, outside of being chosen's return, theyre also orange, who loves their friends, get angry over small things, someone who laughs, not a cold blooded killer. Chosen drags orange back to the life the role the purpose theyre trying to outgrow, chosen asks why cant you stop time chosen hold them close to his heart chosen reach for them, but theyre not there

darksec is full of what ifs

second think theyre better in another universe because maybe then they wouldn't have to be themselves, maybe theyre better for each other in another world, maybe theyre better for each other if...they arent each other. You ever get annoyed when the conflict can be solved outernally but not internally? Everything could have easily been better if they jsut do this, do that, but for that to happen, it wouldn't be them anymore, it require them to be someone else. Dark believe in mabe another life because he wasnt full of fear when sec and her interacts, had they not met during her rampage and get in the way of her destroying noogai's computer, maybe if they meet sooner, they could have hung out, or even know each others beyond powerd amd death. Dark killed second and second killed dark, theyll remember each other more then they miss eachother more then they know each other

Chodark is full of grief

Just like chosec's relationship, my interpretation goes a bit different from the fandom, lets say, dark grieves chosen more, or struggle at it more. Now thay DOES sound a bit weird isnt it>? Destroy the chosen one was his mission, thays like having someone's name carved into your soul, np matter what destroy means the line between love and hate blurs so much it might as well be the same thing, everytime they fight (its how they show love) for a moment cho could see it in darks eyes: an intent to kill, destroy, but she'll blink and it goes away, and dark is aware of his code acting up too but none of them talls about it, maybe npw that darks gone, he doesnt jave to put on with that anymlre. Chosen have thought about it, one day they will ends either by dark's hand or his (it was neither it was both), the thing with grief is that you dont OUTgrow it u outGROW it, grief doesnt leave you, you grow around it, you do mroe thing outside of that grief, i think the firsy few fights osnce their esxape from the computer chosen grieves, theyve grieves a thousand time, thats why its easier for them to grief than dark. Which is not to say he doesnt grief, cho sits on the hills where dark and him used to run around at, everything remind him of her, and now hes watching her die, maybe hes numb because he is "used to it" since he grieves so much, but also maybe he grieves so much he believes she'll come back in the back of his mind, belief so strong it stops him from actually grieving

[faerunsbest]

I love Rolan for a million reasons( i am drubk thinking of rolan shhh let it happen)

but i love him because he also has a visible character arc you get to watch his character grow.

i know that as a partner he could ONLY expand on that ability to learn and improve at vast and unimaginable speeds. I don't think when you meet him hes a virgin i think he has experience be it very little and surface level.

i imagine by the time you meet him hes just past three, the most important three. that one child like love where you look and adore someone and cannot fathom the feelings you're experiencing and it is absolutely destined to be your very first heartbreak and for him its his fault for being clueless for not knowing what he was feeling until it was too late. The realization probably hit like a ton of bricks

the 2nd time he knew what he felt but had no idea how to navigate that feeling or what to do with those feelings. the first time he was pining and absolutely knew it. when finally he worked up the courage and stunningly they said yes to him!

and he stumbles through trying to learn how to care for them and when finally he does he realizes he forgot that he deserved care too. It isn't fair he gave them so much and suddenly hes left watched that partner be toted off by someone with more confidence and self assurance.

and by the god the third time around he was so SURE he was so sure he had it down- he must by now. he know how to proclaim his feelings, he knew how to make his partner know he wanted them. he knew how stand his ground and speak his mind- that he deserved care too.

problem as he lay in bed with them, they disagreed. he had miscalculated and given up a huge part of himself he could never get back. and now then, everything was wrong and he had no time to cope. no time to heal his siblings needed his mug confidence- they needed more than anything for him to light the path to safety. so he did, he gave his heart entirely to the people who loved him with their whole heart and isn't fair.

it isn't fair that some lunatic came marching down a dirt path caked in blood bile and mud and just looked at him. they looked at him with sad pitying eyes if they knew something he didn't. as if his weak arms could carry any burden. HOW DARE THEY! But lia smiled with tears in her eyes and the way cal sighed heavy with relief.

And this blasted lunatic with with such wild eyes and an unreadable heart left again, they where seen in the grove at a passing glance like a whisper- something you weren't sure anyone said. maybe you imagine it.

but you post certainly didn't imagine a terrified little girl crying and sobbing against her parents about a stranger that saved them. You didn't imagine the massive clouds of destruction over the camp so many miles away. you did not imagine them coming back and looking at you with pride.

and horribly you heart fluttered.

stop that.

again at some ridiculous part they stood nearby watching you kindly, hiding a limp. clouding injuries no one needed to see. but you knew something was amiss, and they smiled just for you. they clapped and cheered just for you.

and HORRIBLY your heart skipped a beat, the feeling making a tightness in your chest that you knew. and it isn't fair.

it isn't fair that you're bawling at goddamn bar trying to drown yourself away and they appear out of nowhere with those pitying eyes on you. they reach out and you cant help the spines on your tongue the hateful way you lash out when they SWEAR they'll save the others. They bring cal and lia home to you, blood dribbles out from under their armor and you- FOOL THAT YOU ARE! you believe them.

they disappear up the stair and world takes another turn for the worse and some how it is pulled backward. you look over your should and you see it- that moment that should have been their last/ someone strikes out at your refuges icon- its beacon and this bastard lunatic steps in the way, hands empty and arms stretched out. they pull Isobel behind them- their body only a shield.

how unbelievable this is the moment you know its too late. the thought of that blade striking them down leaves your body cold and numb and no one listens when you scream out.

But it isn't the end.

that precious lunatic bellows and roars and it rattles deep in your ribs.

They turn the blade, they turn the tide.

and you know horribly its too late.

its not fair, how could you possibly fall in love with this person who only ever gave you such pitying eyes.

You stand there at the bar watching them bleeding and pulling up Isobel, you watch them take hold of her soft round face and make sure shes safe. something inside burns and you look around. like a fool you're just sitting trying to drown your guilt when its possible! its entirely possible to do the impossible.

the feeling wears on your skin and your bones and the dark seeps into your pores and you're left with your knees in the mud feeling your eyes begin to sting. then all of a sudden a wave of warmth washes over you and its blinding.

there they are again.

in bleak endless night there they are light sun eclipsing the moon. it isn't fair the way you feel yourself light up at the sight of them it isn't fair how hope and relief flood you as they take hold of your arm and pull you up.

Those behind them smiling brightly, they look tired but assured, confident in the company they keep.

and it isn't fair.

but how glorious when you look from a polling stupor at the bar and see them. Cal and Lia slightly worse for wear but alive! Gloriously alive and all you can do is scold them! scold them for leaving you. You couldn't possibly admit to the terror that near overwhelmed you as the night overtake the day as the dark has overwhelmed this land.

by the time you find the words they are staring upward, watching the sunrise in once eternal night. There is a furious silver angel cutting the dark and leading that lunatics way...

and like a stark raving mad lunatic you feel yourself be overwhelmed with gratitude and hope. Like some psychopath you dare to stand up tall as you can and just fucking march.

unknowingly into the mouth of madness and once again when you are lost and alone and bogged down in the dark this fucking psycho appears again in the door.

They are happy and cheerful and at the mere sight of you that smile falls, but.. not in the way it seems.

a hand cradles your face while a delicate voice asks who. who did this to you, there is an outraced laced sweetly beneath and you can feel it. You try to turn away but.. the question is there.

naught but to do but answer honestly.

something you had never seen on them in all this is that quiet subtle rage. muted and quieted for release at a later time. more stunning when return again to the titans tower to rip him from it's throne.

You cannot declare your love... but you can and you do.

and as you announce your willingness to be exactly where they need you.. you see it. A deep exhaustion down in their bones and you want to scream.

you can do nothing right.

you can do nothing.

[fatuismooches]

Fontaine Archon Quest Act 1 + 2 Spoilers beneath the cut!!! 👾 anon and 🎺 anon i responded to you here :) (Also lots of talking about Arlie because I LOVE HER)

I've also gone through Lyney and Lynette's character stories/voice lines regarding Arlecchino (and a rough translation of Freminet's) and I completely agree! To be completely honest she seems more nicer than I thought she'd be. Of course, she's still strict and evil but she still has standards and seems to care for the siblings to some extent. One of the lines I found most interesting was "Perhaps the most amazing aspect of Lyney's Founding Day magic show was its ability to have even "Father" lay down her heavy burden and enjoy a brief moment of familial love." I didn't expect her to have such a close connection with the siblings. Plus, when she denied giving Lyney a Delusion and also allowed Lynette to keep a box of cats? Loved that. She can be cruel and mean but she does have some sort of heart left. Not to mention Arlie's confirmed to be from Fontaine. I hope we learn her real name soon! Totally with you there with her being soft only for reader ❤️ She has the ability to be kind but expresses it in perhaps an unconventional way. Even when she's being soft she doesn't know exactly how to act. Really looking forward to her in-game appearance!!

HELP I WAS ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE😭😭 Saved for months with absolutely no regrets. Currently saving for Arlie as well! I wish you luck on your primogem saving ❤️❤️

FR I LOVE THE SIBLINGS SOOO MUCH 😭💖💖 (Freminet was robbed of screentime though) AND YES ARLECCHINO I LOVE HER 😭 Ugh I can totally imagine that <3 Arlie shows her kindness in a stern and strict way but you're the complete opposite. You can't fathom being cold to these little cuties! You're the affectionate one and while Arlie does scold you a bit about spoiling them too much she can't get too mad because at least you can handle all the mushy stuff which she cannot do very well. I'm now brainrotting about the kids seeing you and Arlie argue and becoming scared for your relationship and trying to get the two of you to reconcile 😭 I'm literally bouncing in excitement for 4.1 i want to see her so bad!!

Moving on to me just talking about the quests. Did anyone else feel a bit upset at Traveler for how they treated Lyney and Lynette at the end?? I did considering everything the twins went through. I understand the Traveler not trusting the Fatui but they were literally holding onto Childe's Vision in that moment?😭 Besides that little piece, these two Archon quests were really solid and lots of fun. Was also surprised how many serious topics were put into it too. Usually they leave the dark stuff for side/world quests.

Navia. Definitely an amazing character i loved her in the quests. Really beautiful, great personality, and i love her two bodyguards. Her voice while yelling at Neuvillette was really raw 🥺 Also loving Furina a lot. I didn't expect her to be insecure of herself. Seems like her confidence is just a facade for her people's sake. Y'all already know how I feel about Neuvillette haha i didn't expect him to be so emotional but I'm loving him so much! (I love everyone lemme just stop repeating myself 😭)

But damn being dissolved into water is so grim 😭 Imagine just being Fontanian and all of a sudden you learn you could simply dissolve and no one would ever know. I'd literally be so scared that i could die at any time 😭

EDIT: I CANT BELIEVE I FORGOT TO TALK ABOUT CHILDE IM SO DONE. IM SO SORRY CHILDE LOVERS I GOT TOO SWEPT BY ARLIE. Anyway. Childe was so freaking cute. He is the kind of guy who would tell you every little detail no matter how minuscule it is about his siblings. Teucer told him about something that happened to him? Okay now you're getting the same story but more drawn about and longer because Childe can't help babbling about his family.

I know people are clowning on Childe for getting beat by Neuvillette but give my man some credit 😭 He managed to scratch A DRAGON THATS IMPRESSIVE OKAY.

[eddiesghxst]

FUCK FUCK FUCK

HERE WE GO AGAIN I HAVE THINGS TO SAY IM LITERALLY SOBBING

OKAY LETS GET IT

FOUR YEARS ??!!?!! NAH TJ WTF IS THIS. HERE I AM EXCITED TO DIG TF IN AND THIS IS WHAT I GETTT ?!!!?!!

“Life for Eddie Munson over the past four years had been the worst of his entire life, and he once had been addicted to coke.” DAYUM worse than ADDICTION ?! bro is in the TRENCHES😭

UGH TJ THIS IS BEYOND UPSETTING, THE PART ABT THE BREAKUP AFFECTING VR IM LITERALLY THROWING UP

WEED ?! VIOLET ROSE PUT THAT SHIT DOWN OMG IM STRESSED

OH MY MOTHER EFFFF, AINT NO WAY WE JUST RAN INTO VIOLET ROSE IN THE CLURBB !!!! ARIANA WHAT R U DOING HERE🤣🤣🤣 (nah deadass tho wtf r u doing here twin)

not poppy checking eddie out in the middle of this crisis😭 real asf

THEYRE BACK TOGETHER LETS GET IT !! IDK MAYBE VIOLET ROSE ATE, JUST THIS ONE TIME but if i ever catch her doing that shit again i’ll fr riot. that wasn’t funny girl💯

awwww a custom perfumery🥹🥹🥹that’s literally so fucking cute i’m crying nobody touch me

AM I SENSING SUB!EDDIE ?!?! OH IM LITERALLY PACING MY CEILING RN THIS IS INSANITY WHAT IS HAPPENING ?!

no protection i see😏 idk guys maybe vi needs a little sibling IM JUST SAYING

THE TATTOO, PLS DONT DO THIS TO ME I CANT TAKE IT HE WAS SO IN LOVE WITH ANGEL IM HEARTBROKENNN

bestie i’m always shocked by how dirty ur smut gets🫣🤭 like i’ll be reading and then something freaky happens and im like “GASP TJ ???!?!! WHATS GOING AWN” LIKE GIRL IM LITERALLY GULPING N GASPING FOR AIR RN

oh violet, my little angsty teen, i love her she’s the moment

i love that wayne still has the trailer and poppy got to see it🥺there are such cute little moments and meanings in this part im physically ill from it

OMG VIOLETS PART OF THE ALPHABET MAFIA SLAYYY WELCOME TO THE CLUB GIRL DRINKS AND SNACKS ARE IN THE CORNER !!!!

“but your stomach was feeling off, probably due to the nerves of meeting everyone tonight.” oh my god when’s the gender reveal.

oh steve baby, pls stop talking😭 it’s time to switch over to water for the night stink <3

AH I KNEW IT🤭🫵 POPPYS HAVING A POPPY SEED

GIRL PLS I CANT DO THIS I NEED HER TO TELL EDDIE NEOWW👇

not eddie leaving the ring on her side of the bed😭 but he really would do that i love his little dumb ass

the way they’re both so excited for the baby🥹i’m okay i swear i am🥹

“Have to treat this pussy right; it’s going to be giving me the best gift in the world.”

THE SMUT IS SMUTTINGGGGG

AWR NAWR NOT VR HEARING THE NIGHT FESTIVITIES, VIOLET GURL IM SO SORRY, NEXT TIME SAY SUM POOKIE, YELL OR SOMETHING IDK😭

awww im crying abt everyone being excited abt the baby it’s so fucking precious

SARAFINA ?! THAT BITCH—

bro violet rose is so smart it’s not even funny, she scares me😭 like how tf did she figure out who her mom is by herself i could neverrrrr

i cry a little everytime violet calls poppy her mom

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD ITS HAPPENING ITS REALLY HAPPENING HES GONNA PROPOSE WAITTTT I CANT

“See, it was always meant for you. I just got it a little too early,”

TJ OH MY GOD

OH MY GOD IM CRYING

IT WAS SO SO SO GOOD EVERYTHING WAS SO PERFECT

the way they just melted back into sync with each other and the way you could just feel how much they were willing to do to make things work was absolutely stunning

and violet rose single-handedly CARRIED, her growth in this was absolutely INSANE and she’s such a qween love her down

i’m literally so obsessed w this series you’re doing so fucking amazing stink okay bye i’m going to dream about their wedding and their life when the baby comes and and and

i’m so normal abt them i swear

Wildflower Pt.2 | Rockstar!Eddie x Pop!Princess Reader

Summary: After your breakup with Eddie, you got everything you’d ever wanted. The career, the success, the fame, but something was still missing.

Cw: no use of y/n reader is referred by pet names. Eddie x Afab girly girl reader, no descriptions of reader is used other than what they are wearing (we like to keep it inclusive in this house) ANGST mentions mental health struggles, prescription medication, alcohol consumption, mentions of weight loss due to mental health issues, mentions of underage drinking, SMUT soft Dom Eddie, daddy kink? FLUFF so much you might wanna vomit lol, pregnancy 👀

WC: 22.5k lol

Read part 1 here

Rain, he wanted it comfortable I wanted that pain. He wanted a brideI was making my own name.Chasing that fame. He stayed the same. All of me changed like midnight.

As you stepped off the stage of the last show of your sold-out stadium tour, the adrenaline rush pulsed through your veins. Happy tears threatened to fall down your cheeks. You have been working your ass off these past four years. 

Four Years. 

It has been four years since your career took off and hasn’t stopped—four years since your single went number one for thirty-six weeks straight on Billboard 100. Four years since you last saw Eddie. The way you'd left things haunts you to this day.

The first year after the breakup was the hardest. You were nothing but a shell of yourself; you put on a front with everyone. If you let yourself think about Eddie, you wouldn’t have been able to climb out of the hole you had dug yourself out of. You couldn’t muster up the motivation to do anything for yourself when alone. You worked and went home to sleep, wake up and repeat, like a machine. 

You stopped going to events you didn’t need to be at. You punish yourself by not allowing yourself to have any fun. You felt like you didn’t deserve it.

You had lost a lot of weight that year, unable to keep anything down. Your body was in severe malnutrition, and your doctor was worried. You were prescribed some medication to help stabilize your moods. You blamed it on stress, that the job was the problem, brushing it off like you would get over it eventually, or at least that is what you told yourself. That was your life the year you and Eddie broke up.

Eventually, as the years went on, you found better ways to cope with the loss of Eddie and Violet Rose in your life. Slowly, you started dating again about a year later, but everything was different from what you experienced with Eddie. You didn’t have that spark you felt with Eddie. But was that real? Or was it all built up? 

Seeing Eddie back in the limelight as a single man broke your heart, and seeing him taking out different girls was so painful it made you physically sick. You first saw him out with another woman only two months after you ended things… Did he even really love you? You'd convinced yourself that Eddie must have been caught up with everything that he only thought he was in love with you? And now that you were out of the picture, he realized that it was just lust, nothing more... because how did it only take two months until he was out with another woman? 

The hardest part about this was avoiding him at all the award shows and parties. Your worlds were intertwined, your label was the same, your career had taken off after the breakup, and you were invited to more Hollywood events. It was difficult when you knew he was in the room with you, especially with another girl by his side.

You were still so desperately in love with him after all this time…

It was never the same girl; he was back to his old ways, sleeping around with anyone who got the chance. But luckily, you never ran into him because the second you got word he was there, you were gone, making your last memory of him when he walked out of the door in Italy. You had shattered his heart. Broke it into a million pieces, or so you thought. He told you he was in love with you, and you couldn’t say it back. Year after year, things started to get easier; once the tabloids got bored about the breakup and Eddie was seen with different women, the focus was no longer on you. You had thrown yourself into your songs.

Your songs became #1 hits less than a week after each release. You had been that good, a bit too good. Your work was the only thing you let yourself focus on. Everything had to be great, or all of this would have been for nothing. The more writing you did, the more focused you were on your music and the less time you had to think about Eddie. That was the whole point of the breakup, right? Because you used Eddie only to help your career… 

🎸𖤐𝄞💿𓆩🎧𓆪 🎸𖤐𝄞💿

Life for Eddie Munson over the past four years had been the worst of his entire life, and he once had been addicted to coke. He did not expect his early forties would be so…depressing. When you had ended things with him, he never felt that kind of earth-shattering heartbreak before, not when his second try at passing his senior year didn’t pan out, not when Sarafina left him alone with their baby, and not when his parents abandoned him. 

He was too stubborn to grovel; you had told him that you clearly were just doing this for yourself. He had let his emotions get in the way; it was all his fault. He saw that now. He knew that you loved him back, but he was scorned. He wouldn’t be the one to reach out. The story was out; nothing more could be done. He didn’t have the heart to give up the ring he had bought for you. Night after night, Eddie would sit up and stare at it. He hugged your pillow because your scent lingered in the room until one day, it was gone. 

One morning, a few weeks after the breakup, Eddie was awakened to the sweet smell of vanilla and cinnamon wafting through the house; for a split second, he thought you had returned to him. He ran downstairs looking for you, but reality hit like a brick when he followed the scent to the kitchen to see Vi had ordered Cinnabon to the house. She offered him his share, thinking it would cheer him up, but it had only made Eddie nauseous. He could no longer stomach the sweet smell that reminded him of you.

Longing for you to be by his side, he cried night after night, hating himself for feeling so pathetic and unwanted. That’s how his whole life was; he should have known better. His parents didn’t want him, and the mother of his child didn’t want him, so what would make you any different? 

Your breakup not only affected Eddie’s life but also Violet Rose’s. Scorned by how you never even said goodbye, she was hurt. She begged Eddie to let her talk to you, but Eddie refused to speak your name. Your music no longer brought her joy; only waves of sadness washed over her when she heard you on the radio. She couldn’t escape; you haunted her just as much as you haunted Eddie. 

Violet Rose felt the change in her father when he got back from his vacation in Italy. She was so excited to see him; she missed the both of you profoundly, but when she greeted her dad when he returned, she could sense something was off. When she went to let off her hug, and he didn't, she knew. She could feel how tense he was, how tightly he held onto her. The way he almost let a tear slip and the sniffle he made in her ear gave it away. He hadn't reacted like this when he was away from her for months on tour the year prior. When he finally let go of her, she needn't ask. She knew his eyes were bloodshot and swollen; he wasn't bubbly and didn't hum anymore. She knew her father's heart wasn't the same. 

The older Vi got, the more she resented her father for not ever letting her know who her birth mother was. On top of that, she wasn’t allowed to talk about you. She didn’t understand why because Eddie never explained what happened. All she knew was that before he left for Italy, he had asked her if it would be okay if you were to be in their lives permanently. He showed her the pink diamond ring. The ring that to this day still sits in Eddie’s bedside table drawer. She had found it a few weeks back while trying to find the weed she knew her dad had hidden somewhere when he caught her smoking by the pool. 

That was the last straw for Violet Rose. Violet Rose no longer cared about consequences after seeing the reminder of why their lives had changed so dramatically. You didn’t, so why should she? You made her think that you never cared. How could you be so cruel to just leave her? You were going to be her Mom. She had believed that she was finally going to get a mother; the one thing she craved the most her whole life was ripped out from under her. 

🎸𖤐𝄞💿𓆩🎧𓆪 🎸𖤐𝄞💿

Tonight was the night of a new club opening, and Roger ensured you were on the VIP list, not that it took much convincing for you to go. You wanted to get dolled up and have some fun with your girlfriends. You pre-gamed and got ready at your best friend Serena's house tonight. 

Over the last few months, you've been feeling much better, finally getting out of the house for more than just work. You started seeing your friends more than twice a year, attending dinners and events with them. You were also being weaned off of your medication because your Dr. decided that your mind and body were going back to your old self, and you insisted you were feeling better.

"Tonight we are finding you a man!” you announced as you blended the pink blusher onto your cheek. 

"Me? How about you, Ms. Chronically single?" she laughed, sipping her drink that smelled like gasoline. All you could do was roll your eyes. It had become easier thinking about Eddie, but it was still a sore subject you didn't speak of much.

"Oh, don't be like that; it was a million years ago," she giggled. The alcohol Serena was downing played a part in being so bold to bring it up. She had met you two years after the breakup; she didn’t know the whole story but knew it was terrible. Nobody knew the story but your parents and Eddie.

“Fine, tonight I will be reckless and throw all caution to the wind." You took a shot of tequila. The burn was quickly chased by the taste of lime. A loud cheer came from your best friend and twirled you around her bedroom. Laughing, you told her you needed her help picking out an outfit. You both decided on the strappy open-back hot pink silk minidress that made you feel like ten million bucks and your hot pink Louis Vuitton heels that matched the exact colour of the dress. Fitting for a Club named The Red Bottom’s. 

Tonight, you felt like you needed to celebrate, wondering what you were celebrating, maybe because you made it out alive? Becoming yourself again? All the hard work you've put in the past four years? You didn't know... what you did know was tonight you were having fun. 

Walking into the dimly lit club named The Red Bottom’s you could feel the beat of the music pulse through your veins as you watched the different colours light up the dance floor. It was packed already, and it was only midnight. You grabbed your friend's hand and dragged her to the bar. Ordering your shots, you pull out your wallet, but the bartender stops you. "Already covered" He nodded his head over to the other end of the bar, and you both made eye contact with two guys. 

From what you could tell, they were about your age, tall, fit, typical Hollywood, and so not your type. Serena grabbed your hand and pulled you over. You checked your phone to see where the rest of your group was, and they told you they had a booth on the left side of the club. 

"Thanks for the drinks." Serena batted her eyes and smiled as you stood by. They introduced themselves; their names were Patrick and Ray. The more you stood with them, the more antsy you got about wanting to get with the rest of the group. 

"Love the new song, by the way." Your head snaps up from your phone, and you give the guy talking a small smile. "Thanks." Great, just another try-hard trying to get into your pants. Trying hard not to roll your eyes, you look to Serena and let her know you're joining the rest of the group. 

Finally breaking through the sea of people on the dance floor, you made your way to the booth tucked away in the back corner. A slew of cheers filled your ears as you approached your friends. 

Serena returned to the booth five minutes later with the two guys on her tail. 

"You promised me," She whispered, climbing up to you. 

"I did promise you, but I didn't promise it would be with one of these two.” You nodded your head in the men’s direction. Serena gave you an annoyed huff. 

"Ok, look, you know that none of them are even my type; you have all the fun you want! Hell, take them both.” You giggled. “I will still be scouting." With that, she laughed and told you to go have a fun time. As you settled with your drink, she went to the dance floor. 

You didn't take long to rejoin Serena for a dance after you finished your cocktail. Scouting the crowd for a man didn’t take much either; being who you are and being in the hottest new club, it didn’t take long for you to find a guy. Your newfound confidence radiated from you, and you spotted him across the room. The epitome of tall, dark and handsome. If you were to look it up in the dictionary, this man’s picture would be there. His rugged, rough edges had you hooked the moment your eyes met. Biting your lip, you wiggled your finger to get him to come to you. It had been so long since you last danced with someone like this. You were excited, and it felt good. This man towered over you, feeling his body swallow you, and he ground his hips against yours. Serena gave you a wink of approval; all she wanted was for you to have fun and let go. 

It felt like you had been dancing for hours. You needed a break and another drink, so you returned to the booth. As you try to make your way back, not looking like baby Bambi holding on to a tall, dark, and handsome man, you discover his name is Maddox; you accidentally bump into someone. 

"Oh my god, I am so sorry!'" You turn to apologize. 

“Watch where you are going, Bitch” she slurred over the music. 

“Excuse you?” You turn to get a good look at who it is, and you feel your heart in your throat.  You look like you have seen a ghost as all the blood from your face drains. You drop Maddox’s hand and bring it up to your mouth. There she was. Four years since she saw you last. However, you would know that face from anywhere. 

Violet Rose was staring at you. Dumbfounded. Her big brown doe eyes go wide, still precisely like her father’s, at the realization of who you are, and then her face drops into more of a scowl. Looking confused, the much older man standing beside her wraps his arm around her protectively. 

You instinctively grab her hand to pull her away. “Hey, get your hands off of her,” The guy yells over the loud bass. He is definitely your age or older.

“I’ll let you know she is sixteen,” you scowl. The guy's hand shoots up off of Violet, and he practically runs away from the both of you.

“How dare you! How could you do this to us?!” She screamed, finally breaking. 

“I’m trying to protect you!” It was so hard to yell over the music.

“Not him!” She flails her arms in the creep's direction. “To me and Dad!” 

She was causing a scene, and you didn’t know what to do; your emotions took over, and you wrapped your arms around the little girl your heart yearned for. 

“I am so sorry, baby. Please forgive me?” You broke, you missed her and her father so much. Even though you weren’t her mother, you were the closest thing she had for a little while. You’re not sure how long you’re hugging her, crying, in the middle of a nightclub when the reality of where you were clicked in.

"What the hell are you even doing in here?! We are leaving!” You were furious; how on earth was she let into a club? When the fuck did she grow up to become a woman? And how was she allowed to leave the house dressed like this? You didn’t even own stilettos that high.

Violet Rose felt all the blood drain from her face. She was in so much trouble. 

“Your father know where you are?” You arched your brows at her.

“Poppy, look, don’t tell my Dad! Please? I’ll go home right now, I swear,” She begged. 

“Absolutely not, get.” You pointed towards the exit and called Tony to bring your car to the front. You didn’t even say goodbye to Serena or Tall, dark and handsome; you just beelined the both of you to the door.  

You stop by the club promoter and bouncers outside as you exit the club. “I don’t know what kind of place you think you are running, but letting in a sixteen-year-old?!” You yell, drawing attention to yourself. Even though it was two in the morning, there were still paps all around, trying to catch a glimpse of the stars entering and exiting The Red Bottoms. The flashing lights were blinding, but you couldn't care less at this moment.

“I'm going to sue this place! I should call the cops for letting in minors! Better yet, I’ll tell her father! Do you know who her father is? Eddie Munson, that’s who!” You shoved your pointer finger into the chest of the club promoter and looked at you blankly.

When you turned, you saw Violet Rose standing there, embarrassed at the commotion you had just made. She looked so small as you walked back over to her; even though she had grown into a beautiful young woman, she was starting to look like her mother. The mother she never got a chance to get to know. You wondered if she knows now that she is older? 

“Get in the car.” You point at your pink G Wagon. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to disappoint you.” She hugs her arms around herself.

“Nice try, in.” You were not falling for this act; you had been sixteen once, too. 

“What about your guy?” She asked, deflecting. 

“What guy?” You totally forgot about Tall Dark and Handsome. 

“You were with a guy when I bumped into you and-”

“And called me a bitch?” You finished her sentence. “I don’t know. I met him half an hour ago.” You brushed it off.

“Oh, so you’re not with anyone?” You saw a hint of sparkle in her eye. 

“Violet Rose get. in. the. car.” You are not having this conversation with her right now surrounded by paps.

“Fine.” Violet Rose got into the car. A small part of her was happy to see you again; she just wished they were in different circumstances. 

🎸𖤐𝄞💿𓆩🎧𓆪 🎸𖤐𝄞💿

Eddie jolted awake in a cold sweat; his heart sank as he glanced at the clock that read 2:47 a.m. He knew something was wrong as he jumped out of bed, not bothering to put on pants, running out of his room in only his underwear and rushed to Violet Roses's room. He opened the door to see that her window was open and she wasn’t there. 

“Shit, shit, shit, shit” He had a guttural instinct that VR wasn’t here, but he had to check everywhere. 

He first checked her bathroom to see if she had gotten up. She begged him to stay home with her tonight because she was sick. He was supposed to attend a club opening tonight, but how could he leave his Cupcake? Especially when she gave him the puppy dog eyes? They may not have been getting along recently, but he still was the biggest pushover when it came to her. 

They had a good night, other than the fact that she was sick; it was like old times. They curled up on the couch and watched movies; he made her soup, and they enjoyed one another’s company. Something that hasn’t happened in a long time. It made Eddie realize that it was too long; he had been moping around for too long and needed to change, or he would lose VR forever. 

Eddie frantically ran to every other room of the house, calling out her name when he didn’t find her in the bathroom. He was shaking with panic. 

Eddie went back to his bedroom to check his phone to see if he missed any calls or texts, but not one was from Violet Rose or about her. Where the fuck was she? As he calls her phone repeatedly, he runs outside to see if she is out there. Ring after ring, the phone goes to voicemail. He had reached the end of the driveway behind the gate that was still closed. His heart skipped a beat when he saw two headlights of a bubblegum pink G Wagon pulling up to the gates of his estate. He instinctively knows that gaudy thing has to belong to you.

With a deep breath, Eddie opened the gate. The driver slowly pulled up and got out to open the door. Violet Rose is the first to step out and Eddie feels like he can breathe again. She is home, and she is safe. He releases a breath he didn’t know he was holding, but all that relief washes away the second he sees you step out of the car behind her. 

He can feel the anxiety shooting through his arms to the tips of his fingers. He doesn’t understand what is happening. Was Violet Rose hanging out with you behind his back? Was she trying to get back at him? Why would his baby be with you? And why was his baby dressed like that?! 

“Start talking” is all Eddie manages to get out through his teeth. His hands balled up into fists, trying to regulate his breathing. 

You open your mouth to start to explain what happened, but the sight of Eddie standing there in his boxers, chest heaving, you get too overwhelmed at the sight. There is no denying that your attraction to Eddie is still there. You had been mesmerized by the way he looked; his crow's feet were a bit more defined, he was accepting his silver hairs coming in, his skin was pebbled with goosebumps as it was early spring in the middle of the night, and he was practically naked. He was still just as fit, maybe even more so, fuck he made 44 look good. So you stand there with your mouth agape, gawking at him like a moron, until Violet Rose cuts in.

“Hi, Daddy,” it had come out so meek.

“Don’t hi, Daddy. WHERE WERE YOU?” he belted. His face was beat red. You had never seen or heard Eddie so mad, not even on that dreaded day. 

“I found her at the Red Bottom's,” You cut in, giving some slack for Violet Rose. 

“The Red Bottom's? THE RED BOTTOM'S!” It hits him: the new club downtown that he was supposed to attend tonight for the grand opening but didn’t attend because Vi was “sick” and needed to take care of her.

“Inside now.” He was seething, pointing towards the house. Things did not look good for VR. You took that as your cue to leave as you saw her sulk off to the house with her head down. Turning back to the car, you think to yourself this was it. This was your only chance to see him again, and you stood there like a brainless zombie, just ogling him.

“I didn’t dismiss you.” You stop mid-stride and turn slowly as his deep voice filters through your ears. 

“Excuse me?” You question, slowly turning back around.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Eddie was still seething.

“What am I doing?” You countered back.

“Violet Rose is sneaking off to be with you behind my back! How long has this been going on!?” He accused. 

“What the fuck are you talking about, Eddie?” Hearing his name leave your lips was like a gut punch.

“This is all your fault!” He accused again.

“Oh, this is my fault?! How is this my fault? You’re lucky I spotted her and dragged her ass home! You don’t even want to know who she was with when I found her! You’re lucky I did because if I hadn’t, she would still be there doing god knows what with who knows what!” You got in his face. How dare he accuse you of bringing harm to her! You love that kid more than life like she is your own. 

“You know what?!” He counters back.

“What?!” You yell.

What Eddie did next was something so unexpected that it caught you off guard.

“Thank you.” He pulled you into a bear hug. “I was so scared; I didn’t know where she was.” He confessed in a whisper because you were right. Who knows what could have happened to his baby? He was so distraught and mad about the past, but you put his family first after all these years. 

“Eddie, I am so sorry. For everything.” You whisper, finally reciprocating the hug by latching your arms around him. He still smelled the same; it brought comfort, wrapped around you like a warm blanket, and you never wanted to leave.

“No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled at you.” He shook his head, releasing you. In his fit of rage, he didn’t get to take you in. Fuck. You were more beautiful to him than memories served. 

“No, Eddie. I mean for everything.” You looked down, ashamed that you let things go this far. 

“Oh. I am sorry, too.” He swallowed the lump in his throat. 

“I uh, fuck - I’ll always love you, and uh and Violet. You know that? Right?” You look up at him with glassy eyes, tears threatening to break free. The words he prayed to hear for the past four years finally left your lips. He didn’t know what to think or say. “And I still- shit. I’m sorry you don’t want me- I’m going to go.” You turn, but Eddie catches your forearm to pull you back into him. 

“I let you leave once; don’t for a second think that I am going to let you go again.” 

Not giving it a second thought, Eddie crashed his lips into yours, and everything fell back into place at that moment. The missing puzzle piece had been found and restored back into its space.

“Angel, I am still so in love with you; you’re my entire world. Always have been. Always will be.” He mumbled against your mouth. Eddie could no longer be mad at you; he would not waste another moment on being angry and sad. The last few years of his life were full of it, and he was ready to let that all go because here you are, telling him you love him.

“I’m so sorry, Baby.” You let your tears finally slip past your lashes. 

The closure you had been craving was no longer gnawing at your mind. Eddie loves you and never has stopped long you. You had wasted so much time being sad and lonely. But could it really just be that easy? He would accept you back just like that? So much time has passed, and you are not the same people from four years ago. 

“So what now?” You asked, pulling back. 

“You’re mine.” Eddie pulled you back in to kiss you; he had so much lost time to make up for.

“Eddie, I- what about everything? Do you even trust me? I wouldn’t trust me…” You looked down as the feeling of shame washed over you. You were so stupid for letting him go. 

“Angel, look at me.” He hooked a finger under your chin. No one has called you that name since you left Eddie. Hearing it made your stomach erupt with butterflies. “We will have to work on things, but I am not ever letting you go. I won’t survive if I have to lose you again. Understood?” 

“Yes, Sir.” Your eyes widen as the words slip past your lips. It was instinct to address him that way.

“That's my good girl” He gave a cocky smirk and leaned in to kiss you. He couldn’t get enough; his lifeline had been restored. All of the sadness within him was being plucked away with each brush of your lips.

Sure, you and Eddie had a lot to work on, but Eddie didn’t care.  He had his girl back, his Angel. Things wouldn’t return to normal immediately; he knew that… you knew that. Eddie thought about how he would have to cancel the “date” he had set up for tomorrow as you gave him a last kiss goodbye. Watching you get back into the car was hard, but then he remembered that he had to deal with VR. What the fuck was this night turning into? 

“Don’t worry, I didn’t forget about you.” Eddie walked back into the house to see Violet Rose sitting on the staircase.

“Daddy, do you think?” She was hopeful that what she saw through the window could lead to something more. Something that could bring her family back together. 

“Don’t change the subject.” His head was spinning; he didn’t need to discuss his love life with his sixteen-year-old right after she had snuck out of the house. 

“No phone, no TV, no internet, no going out. You go to school, and you come home. That is final.” 

“What?! That’s so unfair. For how long?!” She cried. 

“Until I say so. Phone, now.” He held out his hand, and she reluctantly placed it on his palm. 

“Don’t you dare ever scare me like that again?! Got it! Now apologize.” He commanded.

“I’m sorry for scaring you, but I’m not sorry for sneaking out tonight.” She smirked.

“Excuse you?” Eddie was shocked.

“If I hadn’t gone out tonight, she wouldn’t have brought me home, and you wouldn’t have that stupid smile on your face.” 

“What stupid smile?” Eddie scowled just to prove a point. 

“Nice try, old man, can’t fool me; I saw you walking up the driveway.” Violet Rose laughed as she made her way up the stairs. Maybe her punishment wouldn’t be so bad if her dad was finally happy again. 

🎸𖤐𝄞💿𓆩🎧𓆪 🎸𖤐𝄞💿

The next day, you had been flooded with missed calls from Roger, and the press had a feel day with your little outburst, all of it being caught on TMZ, of course. 

“Sweetheart, what did you do?” You could no longer avoid the sixth call from him. 

“Look, Rog, I had a lot of alcohol, and Violet Rose was there; she is only sixteen. What was I supposed to do?-” 

“Nothing,” Roger cut in.

“Absolutely not. I have morals, Roger.” You could just picture how he was sitting at his desk, pinching his brows because you knew you were giving him a headache. 

“Look, everyone is going to be poking around, thinking you and Munson are back together. Now I know that contract has ended an-” 

“We are back together,” you cut him off. There was a few seconds of silence because he needed to process what you had just said.

“What?” He asked. 

“I said Eddie and I are back together. For real, no contracts, no bullshit.” You couldn’t get the stupid grin off of your face if you had tried. 

“Oh, well, um, wow, this is unexpected; I’m so happy for you!"  

“Really?” Your voice went up an octave.

“Of course, sweetheart, this is excellent news; I have been worried about you; something in you changed, and you tried to cover it up, but I know you… and also will bring up more publicity. Everyone loves it when couples get back together! Look at J-Lo and Affleck; no one could stop talking about them for weeks!” 

“Well, I guess this whole nightclub thing will blow over?” You wince, biting your thumb.

“Should be fine; when are you announcing your relationship? How long has it been?” Roger questioned.

“Oh, um, well, it just happened last night, so let's give it a few weeks and see how things play out…” fuck, this was not supposed to be another publicity stunt. 

“Understandable. I’ll contact you in a few days to see what’s happening, OK? Kisses” 

“Bye Rog” You hung up the phone to see Eddie was calling you.

Eddie asked you to meet up with him today and go on a walk to clear up things. You felt an overwhelming sense of being home when he opened his door. He was still in the same house, and it looked like only a little visually had changed over the years. 

Eddie greeted you with a hug and a kiss that lingered for a while. The familiarity of his lips on yours gave you an overwhelming sense of comfort. He made you feel at home. 

Eddie took your hand and closed the door behind him, ready to go. 

You just walked through the neighbourhood, having it be a gated community; no one would bother the two of you. 

“I can’t believe this is happening.” You laugh, shaking your head.

“Same, but I’m happy that it is.” Eddie brought your hand up to his mouth to kiss the back of your hand.

“I don’t really know where to begin…” you trailed off, looking out at the California skyline. 

“Let’s start off with how have you been?” Eddie genuinely asked.

“Honestly, I’ve been doing much better than I had been over the last few years. I was in an awful place after it all happened. I wanted to talk with you badly but knew you hated me.” You looked down at your shoes, still ashamed about how you left things. 

“I could never hate you, Angel. I was stubborn and so hard-headed that I refused to grovel. But I regret every day that passed that I didn’t try to get you back.” Eddie admitted.

“Really?” You look at him with shock. You had convinced yourself that Eddie was never in love with you that the thought of him being heartbroken escaped your mind. 

“Of course, Angel. Don’t you remember where I was taking you when… uh-”

“When I ran away…. Yeah, I remember. But I convinced myself that it was just... I don't know? lust…” 

“Hmmm,” that caught Eddie off guard. What could he have done to make you think he wasn’t being raw and honest with you? 

Eddie debated whether he should tell you about the ring as you walked in uncomfortable silence. He decided against it; he felt it wouldn’t be right. 

“I never asked how you have been?” You look to Eddie as he is lost in thought. 

“Bad. No sense in lying to you. I’m sure Vi will tell you eventually.” He sighed. 

Your heart dropped at his confession. He seemed to be doing well. He was the hottest bachelor at the moment. 

“I feel like a broken record, but I’m truly sorry, Eddie. I was such a mess after everything, and I thought you hated me, so I couldn’t talk to you, and it got so bad I couldn’t get out of bed. My doctor put me on meds because I literally didn’t want to do anything, and I missed you and Violet Rose so bad! I felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest. Not to make this about me, but I just wanted to let you know my decision was wrong, and I hated myself daily. And I will try my best to make it up to both of you. I promise I’ll never leave you like that ever again…. That's if you’ll have me.” 

“Your doctor put you on medication?” He looked at you with concern. 

“Ugh, yeah. I’m slowly coming off of them now; it’s been about two months. I’m feeling a lot better.” You admit

“Jesus Angel. You should have told me! I would have done anything for you, you know that, right?” He said as he pulled you into a hug. 

“I do now,” you whisper. 

“And I’m sorry as well. I should have never yelled at you like that. I felt awful the second I left you standing there alone in that big empty house… I sold it, by the way… I couldn’t go back. The memories were too… sour.” He looked down to his chest. 

“Well, I can’t stomach Italian food anymore… makes me sick even thinking about it.” You admit with a  shudder, trying to lighten the mood.

“And I can’t eat Cinnamon Rolls anymore because of you,” he admits. 

You look at him quizzically.

“Reminded me too much of your perfume… it uh… made me sick whenever I smelled vanilla and cinnamon.” He shrugged

You looked at him with such sorrow. The both of you were so fucked up by what happened. How could you ever work through this? There was so much hurt to overcome.

“Enough about the past. We are on the same page. We have years to make up for.” Eddie brought your lips to him for a gentle kiss. You wanted so badly to deepen the kiss, but you were in the middle of the suburbs, and any stay-at-home mom desperate for gossip could clock the two of you in a second.

Eddie pulled away, and you made your way back to his place. Once you arrived, Eddie invited you inside. 

“So where is the little criminal?” You asked, entering the living room. Memories flood back to when you would have sleepovers and make forts and Disney movie marathons. 

“Present.” She came waltzing through from the kitchen. 

“Hi Vi,” you walk over to her to embrace her in a hug. It shouldn’t have surprised you when she didn’t hug you back. 

“I’m so sorry for how I left things, but I don’t know how much your dad told you?” You look to Eddie and see him shake his head no. “I, uh, I think you are old enough to know some details?” You and Eddie discussed on your way back home that VR also had to be on board for this to work. She had to know the truth. 

“Come sit, Cupcake.” Eddie patted the couch cushion next to him.

You and Eddie then explained how, at first, the entire thing was a sham, but you ended up falling for one another in the end, but things had to break off because of the contract. 

“You’re joking?” That was Violet Rose’s first response. 

“Unfortunately not,” You speak up. 

“That is the most fucked up and stupid thing I think I’ve ever heard.” she rolled her eyes.

“Hey, language. Don’t make me extend your punishment.” Eddie pointed to her.

“I’m sorry, but you’re telling me I am supposed to believe you two broke up because of a piece of paper?” She stares dumbfounded.

“Well, yeah, that’s what happened…” Eddie shifted his gaze to you. 

“And you didn’t think to... I don't know? SNEAK AROUND?!” She flailed her arms in the air.

“Uh… no, actually, that never crossed my mind.” Eddie looked at you, and you shrugged.

“You don’t get it. Cupcake things were not that black and white; it was complicated.” 

“Whatever, can I go to my room now?” She rolled her eyes. 

“Fine, go.” Eddie sighed. 

“Don't worry, she will come around eventually. She was excited last night and started questioning if we would be back together.” Eddie smirked. 

That made you feel better; you would hate for Violet Rose not to see you in the same light as before. 

🎸𖤐𝄞💿𓆩🎧𓆪 🎸𖤐𝄞💿

A month passed, and yours and Eddie’s schedules conflicted. You were recording your new album, and Eddie was busy with the band. Nothing had been coordinated until today, your first official date, and you told Eddie you were planning the whole thing because it was the least you could do for him. 

You drove to Eddie’s house mid-afternoon to pick him up. 

“Absolutely not.” As you pulled up in your baby pink vintage convertible Cadillac, he shook his head. Eddie Munson may be a sim, however, he still has an image to keep up with. He would not be seen being chauffeured in a pink car, especially by his woman. He was old school, and he would be the one driving them.

“What do you mean?” You pout. God, he was such a sucker for that face you pull, but he would stand his ground. 

“I’m driving,” Eddie stated plainly. 

“But I’m the one treating you.” You state. 

“Don’t care. Not going in that gaudy thing.” He crossed his arms. 

You roll your eyes as you unwillingly step out of the car. 

“Don’t think I didn’t see that.” His tone was serious, but his eyes said otherwise as he took your hand and kissed the top of it. 

“Hi, Princess.” He smiled 

“Hi, Baby.” Everything felt right again like nothing had changed. 

“Just tell me where we are going.” Eddie walked around to the passenger side to open the door for you. You ignored his request as you got into his black Bentley Continental. You punched the address into the GPS and were on your way.  

“Le Labo?” Eddie questions when you arrive at the destination. 

“It’s a custom perfumery. Since you said you can’t stomach mine anymore, I called and made an appointment to make one for each other?” You bite your nails in anticipation. Did he hate the idea? Was it too boring? 

“This is not what I was expecting at all, Angel, but this is really cool.” he pulled you into his side as you walked into the building. 

After smelling all the smells and finally deciding on a concoction for one another, your perfumes were complete, and you could take them home. For Eddie’s, you choose notes of nutmeg, white musk, and jasmine. You named his Dungeon Master. Eddie picked a more floral scent for yours with notes of tuberose, jasmine, and tonka bean and called it Angel Wings. He made you wear it as soon as you stepped out of the perfumery.  

The next stop for your date was your house. Eddie had never been to your home. You managed to buy one two years ago and were able to sell your condo. You were happy to have a new space, one with happy memories. 

You managed to snag a bungalow in Bel-Air for just under five million. It needed some updating, so you’ve been slowly making renovations. It was almost done to your liking; you just had to finish up the guest bathroom, and then it would be perfect. 

The whole house was very you. In the kitchen was your favourite part of the home. The cabinets and countertops were white, and the backsplash, appliances, and cookware were all pink. The house was an open concept, which you loved; it was very light and airy with little clutter, but it looked homey. It's very much the exact opposite of Eddie’s interior decor. There were floor-to-ceiling windows all over that let in a lot of natural light. You had a massive sectional in the living room that you often fell asleep on because it was that comfortable. Your favourite part of the house was the living room that opened into the back patio, which led into the pool. Your garden was lush and complete; a giant hedge that acted as a privacy wall surrounded the yard so no one could see in. It was your own little piece of paradise. 

“I didn't know you moved?” Eddie asked, pulling into your driveway. 

“How could you’ve?” Even though the two of you had made up, the wounds were still fresh. You didn’t mean anything by your comment, but you sensed it irked Eddie. 

“I’m sorry-

“Angel, if you apologize one more time,” he gives you a look of warning before stepping out of the car and running over to your side.

 Some things never change. 

“So what is next on the schedule?” Eddie asked as he followed you into your home. 

“Thought I could cook you dinner.” You smile as you lead the both of you into the kitchen. 

You hear Eddie chuckle behind you.

“What?” You turn, arms crossed, to see him examining your space.

“I expected nothing less from you.” He chuckled as he pulled you into him by the waist. 

Eddie leaned down to kiss you. This was the first kiss you shared since reuniting almost four weeks ago. You lean into it as you uncross your arms to wrap them around the back of his neck. The kiss was tentative at first, nothing but a small peck. Eddie tested the waters as he slowly leaned into you, but you needed more. You pressed into Eddie, raising your tiptoes to press yourself fully into him. He got the hint as his strong hands slipped from your jaw and cascaded down past your waist to grip your ass. A moan slipped from your lips as he massaged his hands into you. 

“Fuck, I missed your noises,” Eddie spoke into your mouth. 

“Mmhmm” you hummed.

“I need you, Angel.” Eddie rubbed his hardening length into your lower abdomen.

“What about dinner?” You pant into his open mouth.

“I’ve waited long enough for you; dinner can wait.” Eddie pushed you back into the kitchen counter, and you took no time tugging at the bottom of his shirt, frantically lifting it over his head. You latch your mouth where his neck meets his collar, nipping and biting until you’ve marked your territory. Eddie whimpered as your hand grazed over the tent his hardened bulge created. Never had Eddie whined like this just from your touch. Eddie froze, unsure what was happening; his body had never reacted this way with anyone. 

“Baby, you ok?” You whispered into his ear as your hand moulded around the thick shaft. There was a shift in the air; Eddie was at your mercy. He didn’t even correct you when you didn’t call him Sir. He nodded and swallowed hard. His heart was racing, his muscular chest was heaving up and down as you delicately traced your hands up to the button of his black trousers. 

“Fuck baby, don’t tease me. I-I-” he shakes his head in a daze.

“Shhhhh, it’s okay, baby, I’ll take care of you.” It’s the least you could do for him. You slide down to your knees, cadged between the kitchen cabinets and your boyfriend. You unzip his pants, and he shimmies out of them as fast as he can. Your mouth waters as Eddie's naked frame towers over you. His thick thighs flex as you run the tips of your long red nails over his flesh. You can see the defined muscle of his legs tighten as you get closer to the apex. 

“Tell me what you want baby.” You graze your glossy lips over the underbelly of his shaft up to the silver ball of his piercing that you craved when you were all alone in the middle of the night. 

“You,” he whispers as he cups your cheek with his right hand. 

“What part of me do you want, Eddie?” You look up at him with eyes glazed with lust. 

It’s been so long that you remember the first time you were on your knees for him. The thrill of the memory brings butterflies to your stomach. 

“All of you.” Eddie pants.

“Uh-uh, naughty boy. Don’t get greedy,” you smirk as you slowly run your hand up and down his shaft.

“Your mouth, Angel. Gimme your mouth. Please.” The anticipation broke when your mouth engulfed his long thick cock into your mouth, wholly. 

You tried your best to fit as much of him as you could. Did he get bigger over the past four years? No? That’s not possible? But you felt so full that you're memory failed you as you tried to get him all down your throat. You came back up in a gasp of air. A string of saliva connected your lips to his tip. You stroked your hand up and down the long shaft. Memorizing each vein as you did. You went back down, and that whimper came back. 

Oh, the lovely little whine coming from Edie’s mouth was making your pussy flutter. You were starting to understand why he loved your moans and whimpers. Hearing them only made your arousal pool in your panties. 

“Please, baby, I need you. I need you so bad.” Having Eddie begging for you was also a new experience that unlocked something in your brain. In all aspects of the term, this larger-than-life man at your mercy was turning you on in ways you never thought possible. You didn’t let up; you worked your tongue around his tip, then slid him back down your throat again. 

“FUCK angel, please I don’t think I can last long. I need to fuck you, baby. Please let me fuck you; let me feel that pretty little pussy.” He was begging, and you were thriving. However, the need for him to fill you was becoming greater than the feeling he was giving you when he was begging, so you let up. With a pop, you let his throbbing member out of your mouth. Eddie hiked you up off the floor and started to strip you down as fast as he could. 

“Where do you want me?” he asked as he kissed down your neck. He let a finger trail up your sticky inner thighs. 

“Don’t care,” you shake your head. 

“Bedroom?” He looks over his shoulder down the hall to where he assumes your room is. 

“No time.” You turn so you’re bent over the kitchen countertop. 

“Always so ready for me.” Eddie swiped a single digit up your wet slit. 

“Fuck me, fuck me hard,” you pleaded.

“Yes, ma’am,” you heard the smirk in his voice. 

Eddie tugged your hair as he pulled your head to the side so he could kiss you, it was sloppy and wet, so much tongue, but it didn’t matter when you felt the tip of his cock run up and down your folds. The metal ball of his ring was cool against your hot clit. Your body shivered as it brushed against you before slipping past your entrance. You pushed your body back into Eddie so he could fill you as fast as possible. 

Eddie’s grip on your hair tightened as he yanked your head back so you were arching into him. The leverage he had using your head as a vice to slam into you over and over. His other hand explored your chest, harshly gripping your breast. You’re sure his fingertips will be scorched into your skin forever.

“Fuck I missed this pussy” he growled into your ear as his hot breath cascaded over your skin. The room was full of the wet sound of Eddie pounding into you. His harsh thrusts didn’t slow as he fucked himself into you. He pulled out entirely, and you cried at the loss of him.

“Just needed to taste you.” You felt his hands spread apart your cheeks. His warm tongue replaced his cock, travelling its way from one hole to the other. A feral moan left your lungs, and before you knew it, he was back hovering over you, guiding his cock back where it belonged.

“Nobody compares to you” his praises didn't match his movement; if you hadn’t known any better, you swore he was hate fucking you right now… and maybe he was? He had years of pent-up feelings about you. 

“This is my pussy understand? It belongs to me and only me,” his grip finally left your hair as his hand slid down to your throbbing clit.

“Yes, Sir.” You cried as his fingertips made contact.

“Tell me,” he demanded.

“I’m yours, baby. I am yours,” you spoke after each thrust up into you.

“Fuck I love you so much; tell me you love me. I need to hear it.” Eddie’s thrusts hadn’t let up; you were a bit shocked by the stamina; even your legs were about to give out.

“I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.” You chanted like a mantra. The feeling in your lower stomach was forming. Eddie kissed down the side of your neck; the butterflies were starting with each circle of his fingers, each harsh bite and nip at your neck, each thrust hitting you so deep, the spot you’d been so desperate to get to but no matter how many times you tried on your own you just couldn’t. 

“I’m cumming!” Your body trembled, your pussy clenched down so hard you knew your body would soar in a few minutes.

“Shit, I’m close. Tell me how much you want me.” He spoke through his teeth.

“Please, Sir! Fill me, I want you so bad,” you cry.

“You want this cum baby? Do you want me to pump my load into you? That it? You want me to make you mine?” Eddie growled.

“Yes!” You nod.

After only a few more thrusts, Eddie came not long after you, pumping his load into you further and further until he slipped out of you. You collapse your body onto your kitchen counter as Eddie hangs his body weight over you, caging you in. 

“Baby, you ok?” You feel Eddie wrap his arms around your middle. 

“Yeah, just need to feel you.” He mumbled into the side of your neck. You could feel the warm cum dripping down your trembling legs. The realization hit you that you didn’t use protection. Your body stiffened, and Eddie caught on, “What’s wrong, baby?” He got up so you could turn to face him. You kissed him, not wanting to ruin the moment. He deserved one good day with you, and would a baby so bad? Having his baby. No, you dreamed of having his baby all the years ago. 

Eddie deepened the kiss, and your thoughts dispersed; Eddie was the only thing clouding your brain. He picked you up, latching your legs around his waist. 

“You going to show me your bedroom now, little lady?” He kissed down the other side of your neck, mirroring the marks he had left on the other side. 

“Down the hall, second door on the left.” Eddie was already walking before you finished taking it. He entered your room and threw you on the bed to climb onto you.

“Really, you’re ready for round two?” Your question, even you still need some recovery time, 

“You wound me, princess.” He drops his head as his large tattooed hand covers his heart. You then notice when he moved his hand that below where Violet Rose's name was etched into his skin over his heart was a tattoo you hadn’t seen before. A small pair of blacked-out angel wings with a halo hovering above. 

Your hand shot up to trace over the ink in his skin. 

“Eddie.” You whispered. 

Eddie looked down to see what made your eyes glaze over. The realization that you hadn’t seen it yet hit him hard. He wasn’t sure why he acted on impulse that day, but something in him told him he had to keep you close to his heart, that he couldn’t let you go. So he got this tattoo dedicated to you a year after the breakup.

He cleared his throat; he was a little embarrassed by how desperate he was for you. How desperate he still is for you.

“Look, I-” You didn’t let him finish because you pulled him down into you by the back of his neck to kiss him. To really kiss him, a kiss to show him that you love him, that you always loved him, that you were sorry for ever hurting him. 

“I love you,” you mumbled into his mouth. A shit-eating grin formed on Eddie’s face. He couldn’t get enough of you saying those words, and now you said it first, unprovoked. He slid down your body. 

“Hey, where are you going?” You whined at the loss of his warm body hovering over you. 

“I don’t get to worship my girl properly.” He parted your sticky legs.

“Eddie, you just came. You sure you want to?” You questioned, clamping your legs together. 

“When has that ever stopped me before?” he pried open your knees. Not wasting another second, he was lapping at your clit, sending you into a cloudy euphoria.

🎸𖤐𝄞💿𓆩🎧𓆪 🎸𖤐𝄞💿

“Come home with me?” Eddie asked the following day. You’d been intertwined with one another all night, not leaving one another for a moment. Not even when you got up to go to the bathroom. You didn’t want to waste another second apart. You never thought you would be this happy again; the ecstasy flowing through you was giving you a high. 

“I want you to meet Wayne.” he snuggled his head into the crook of your neck. 

“I would love to,” you sighed.

“Good, we are going back in two weeks; Violet hasn’t seen her Pops in too long.” He smiled.

“You never told me much about him before?” You shifted in the sheets to face him. 

You absentmindedly reached over to play with his hair. 

“Not much to say,” he shrugged.

You gave him a pointed look that told him he wasn’t getting out of this conversation.

“Fine,” he chuckled. “He is a stubborn old grump who took me in when he didn’t need to. He really is a softy on the inside, especially when it comes to his granddaughter.” He sighed. 

“Sounds like he is a really good guy,” you smile.

“He is, won’t admit it though, he is a very humble man, and it took years in order to convince him to live in the house I got him instead of the trailer I grew up in. I literally had to have it moved into the backyard with the house to convince him to leave that place.” He laughed. 

You needed to meet the man who raised Eddie to thank him for doing such a good job. It meant so much to you that he would want you to meet him, especially after everything that happened. 

“I can’t wait to meet him.” You kiss him gently.

“Good because I already told him you are coming. Gotta show off my girl to everyone. 

Eddie’s words made your heart flutter. You still couldn’t believe this was happening and that he didn’t hate you. 

The following two weeks had flown by. Trying to convince Violet Rose that you are staying for good was much more complex than you thought. She was very standoffish and didn’t give you much to work with. When you spoke to her, she would give grunts and one-word answers if you were lucky. Being a teenage girl means approaching with a topic of interest, and with VR growing up so much since you’ve seen her, it’s been hard to wiggle your way back in.

School was not a discussion topic; partying was also a sore subject because she was still grounded, so on your flight back to Indiana, you tried again. She gave you the cold shoulder, still not forgiving you. Not understanding at all why you had left. You were starting to question why you left things as you did. It didn’t make sense in retrospect. She was right, you could have snuck around, you could have “broken up” and gotten back together weeks later. But in the moment, everything was too much; you were overwhelmed by everything you weren’t thinking about. Now, as a thirty-year-old, you have learned so much. You were not ready for many things that came your way but you got through them; and on your own. Giving yourself room to grow and become your best was probably the best thing that came out of this situation. 

“Hey, old man,” Eddie yelled into the empty foyer of Wayne’s quaint bungalow. 

Violet Rose pushed past the both of you and walked into what you believed to be her bedroom just off the front door. 

“Finally, I’ve been waitin’ round for ages! Can’t that dang plan of yours go any faster?” Wayne rounded the corner as he entered the long hallway. He embraced Eddie in a thigh hug, snaking his back a few times before letting go.

“Angel, this is Wayne” he smiled brightly

“Pops, this is my Angel.” You smile at Wayne before he opens his arms for a hug hello. 

Wayne knew of you from the past. Mainly when he spoke with his granddaughter. She spoke so highly of you all those years ago.

“I’m so happy to finally meet you.” You squeezed your arms around the elderly man. 

“Pleasure’s all my darlin'.” he pulled back to get a good look at you, then looked around. “Where’s my Grandbaby?” 

Eddie chuckled and then pointed towards the door. “Don’t think she could get away that easy?” Wayne smirked. 

Violet must have heard the conversation because she stepped out of the room and was changed into her sweats and an old Corroded Coffin shirt.

“Hey, Gramps.” She smiled slightly and leaned into him for a hug.

“Hey baby girl, you get taller? Damn, I haven’t seen you in so long” he brushed her curly locks down as he patted her head.

“Probably, but I think I’m done now,” she giggled. It was the first time you had seen her in a good mood. 

“Well, let’s quit standing in the hallway; come in!” He waves the three of you into his home.

Wayne cooked a delicious dinner, and then Eddie showed you around the only trailer that sat in the backyard. He wasn’t kidding when he said Wayne wouldn’t move unless it went with him.

Eddie showed you around his old bedroom; he said it was like stepping into a time machine. Everything had been left as it was when he left at 21. 

You teased him when you found an old Playboy that was very well-used. His cheeks flared up as you flipped through the dusty pages. He told you there used to be a display of mugs, the same one that was now inside the house, and a bunch of trucker hats that also used to be a staple, but now we’re probably in his bedroom collecting dust there. 

When you went back inside, you saw Wayne and VR huddled around the pool playing a game of Snooker. It was nice to see Violet Rose enjoying her time around you rather than sulking like a moody teenager. 

Eddie announced that both of you would join in the next round, and Violet rolled her eyes so much for progress. 

The rest of the night was relatively peaceful. Only one more snarky remark from Violet Rose got a stern response from her Pops, telling her off for talking back to her elders. 

“Don’t you teach this girl any manners? Did I not raise you to respect people?” Wayne grumbled. 

“You try raising a teenage girl, then come back to me; maybe I’ll leave her here for the summer,” Eddie smirked, which got a rise out of Violet. 

“I love you, Gramps, but I would rather die than live in Hawkins,” she winced. 

“Don’t blame ya, Sweet-pea, but I think all that Hollywood California L. A bullshit, pardon my French, has gotten to that head of yours ” he shook his head. 

Eddie couldn’t help but laugh; it was so infectious you tried to hold in your giggles. 

“You guys are the worst! Just try and be a teenager now!” She dropped her pool cue and stormed off to her room. 

You looked at Eddie and gave a sympathetic smile; if anyone knew what she was going through in this room, it would be you. You went after her to see if she would open up to you. 

You tentatively knocked on the door three times before she told you to go away.

"Vi, can I please come in?" you speak through the door.

"No," you could hear her eyes roll. 

"Come on, Vi, who do you want to talk to you? Me a girl who has been in your position or your Dad?" you wait silently while she contemplates her options. 

"Fine." You hear her get up and walk to the door. She doesn't say anything when she opens the door. She turns and sulks back to her bed, curling her knees to her chest.

"So..." you start while thinking about what to say next. "Want to tell me what is going on?" you sit at the opposite end of her bed; you don't want to crowd her. 

"Not particularly," She mumbled into her knees. 

“Okay," you drew out with a huff. "How about I list off some things that I think are the issues, and you let me know if I'm close?" 

Violet Rose stared at you blankly, but you took that as a yes. 

"Okay... is it about school?" 

"No" 

"Friends?" 

"No"

"A boy?" 

"Not really" 

Okay that's good you were getting somewhere. 

"Not really? So, a boy problem with you? Or someone else?"

"It's about you and Dad." 

"Of course," you sighed.

"It's not that... it's not that I don't want you together because that is all I ever wanted. But I'm scared you're going to leave again." She was so meek. You hadn't seen Violet Rose, so unsure of herself. You reached out your comforting hand, shocked when she let you leave it resting over hers.

"I am so sorry about how I left things with you. I will never forgive myself for not being there to say goodbye. But I promise I am not planning on leaving this time. Your father and I are nowhere near perfect, but we are working on things. And if we ever plan to not continue things between us, I promise you I will always be a part of your life as long as you want me to be. Okay?" you sighed. 

You waited a few seconds in silence before she responded. "Okay.'' She whispered while giving a meek smile. 

"Was that the only thing bothering you?" you chide.

Violet sat and wondered if she wanted to share her feelings about her crush on her friend, Charlotte. Violet knew she liked both girls and boys for a while now but wasn't ready to divulge. She would rather speak about that to her aunts, Robin and Nancy. She shook her head no and said she would have an early night. 

You bid her a goodnight, and when you closed her door, a triumphant smile spread across your face. Progress has been made; that's all you wanted.

You rounded the corner and caught the end of Eddie and Wayne's conversation.

"Don't let this one go again, boy, or else I'll never forgive ya'." 

"Don't worry, I'm not going to let him this time," You said with the same goofy smile.

"You're in a good mood. I'm assuming things went well?" Eddie pulled you in by the waist to sit beside him on the couch. 

"Yeah, she will be okay. Just needed some reassurance, is all." You curled up next to him. 

Eddie didn't say anything more when he gave a kiss to your temple. 

"Told ya she would be good for you son." Wayne tipped the beer bottle to you. 

"Yea, yea, yea, you are always right," Eddie laughed.

It seemed that you were fitting back into their family just perfectly. 

🎸𖤐𝄞💿𓆩🎧𓆪 🎸𖤐𝄞💿

On your second day in Hawkins, Eddie wanted to take you around town and bring you to meet his old friends. He told you that his buddy Steve was hosting a BBQ and invited all of his old high school friends for the occasion. He said you were going to meet everyone. Steve and his wife and kids, Robin and Nancy, who were married; Nancy’s little brother Mike and his Wife El; Dustin and his wife Suzy and their kids; Lucas and his wife Max and their kids; and Luca’s little sister Erica and her partner. You told him you would try to remember everyone’s names, but you made no promises. 

It was all a bit overwhelming to meet everyone all at once, but you felt like you were welcomed with open arms, regardless of what Eddie had told them about you. 

You’d lost Eddie halfway through the evening. Naturally, the men and women separated into their separate groups.

“So tell me about Eddie when he was in high school.” You smirked into your iced tea glass. Everyone else had been drinking tonight, but your stomach was feeling off, probably due to the nerves of meeting everyone tonight. 

“Oh, he was a TOTAL dork,” Robin giggled. 

“Not much of a jock, I’m assuming?” you asked, giggling with her. 

“No, no, but he was a charming guy,” Nancy spoke. “a bit eccentric.”

“No, very eccentric,” Robin corrected with a laugh. 

“But he was always looking out for his friends, sucking up for others, like my brother Mike” Nancy nodded over to the guys who were surrounding the BBQ. 

Robin was someone you gravitated toward the most; she was funny and spunky, and you totally understood why she fell for Nancy. Nancy was kind, warm and not to mention gorgeous. 

This made you smile to know he always had a genuine heart. 

“Sounds ‘bout right,” you sigh. 

Eddie couldn’t break the smile that spread across his face the second you two walked in the door. He was so smitten and very excited to show you off. He finally found his person; all of his hometown friends had settled down for years, getting married in their 20s and having a normal life in the suburbs. He felt like he was finally able to settle down with you. He had already settled down while raising VR but always missed his partner. 

“How did you manage to swing a girl like that, Eds? She has to be half your age,” Steve asks, nodding his head in your direction. 

“She is thirty,” Eddie corrected him, but he knew Steve was only pulling his leg. 

“He’s a famous rockstar now, remember! Not the same nerd from Hawkins High,” Dustin laughed. 

Eddie gave him a stern look. Sure, they were all grown up, but Eddie still saw them as his little sheep. 

“Com’on, dude! It’s been so long since we busted your balls,” Lucas said, wrapping an arm around Eddie's shoulder. 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever y’all are just jealous.” Eddie rolled his eyes, smirking before taking a sip of beer. 

“We are happy for you, dude,” Steve smiled. “You seem much better when she is around. You sound alive again.” He flipped a steak on the grill. 

“Well, my fellow brethren, thank you for everything you’ve done for me; I appreciate it.” “You're getting way too sappy for me; I thought I was standing with the men.” Mike laughed.

The evening was ending; the lot of you were all snuggled up by the bonfire in the backyard of the Harrington residents. 

“So… what do you prefer to be called? Your actual name or Angel?” Steve inquired.

“Whatever you prefer, to be honest, I like both.” You smiled.

“Well, I’m calling you Angel,” Robin piped up, “It's cute,” she smiled.

“It’s all Eddie ever refers to you as; I had no idea it was you he was speaking of when he told us he was bringing a lady friend,” Steve smirked. 

“She’s not just a lady friend; she is his girlfriend,” Dustin chimed in with a grin.

“Well, whatever you are, we are happy you’re here; it’s about time someone tied this one down.” Steve tilted his beer bottle up to toast. 

“Thank you for having me; I’m so happy to meet all of you. Eddie has told me wonderful things about all of you.” You smiled, reaching for Eddie’s hand. 

“Awe shucks, bud. Are you getting all mushy on us?” Steve laughs. 

“Zip it, Harrington,” Eddie said, teasingly pointing a finger. 

“What? I’m just saying… The last time we saw you with anyone was Chrissy... and that was twenty years ago!” He clapped. Steve was drunk.  

Your body tenses and tired to laugh, but up at the thought of Eddie with another girl made you feel icky.

“Yeah, well, I haven’t found anyone close to how Angel makes me feel, so I don’t care how long it took her to find me.” Eddie kissed your cheek with a wet smack. 

Steve cringed at how gushy his friend was, but the ladies fawned over it. They were so happy Eddie finally found his person. They had multiple discussions about how they were worried for his well-being when he started partying again. 

“You both are the cutest. How did you rekindle things? Eddie told us you dated in the past. Nancy spoke.

You told them about how you caught VR in the club and dragged her home, and the rest was history. 

The evening wrapped up around midnight. The car ride home was quiet but not uncomfortable.  Eddie held your hand the whole ride home with a slight smile. Your heart was warm; Eddie had really good people in his life. 

🎸𖤐𝄞💿𓆩🎧𓆪 🎸𖤐𝄞💿

"When do yous two plan on hitting the road?" Wayne asked a few days after your arrival. 

"Trying to kick us out, old man? We just got here," Eddie laughed. 

"No, boy, I just gotta know how much food to buy at the store." He huffed. 

"Well, we will stay for four more days and head out on the 7th. 

Wait? Did Eddie just say the 7th was in four days? That can't be right. You open your phone to look at your calendar. Shit. 

You excuse yourself calmly to go to the bathroom.

You lock the door behind you and open your period tracker app. You were six days late. Okay, no need to panic. The last time you had unprotected sex was... almost every night for the past two weeks... You tried to think back; he pulled out nearly every time. But there was the first night you rekindled the flame; he definitely didn't pull out then… okay. Focus. You’re 30 and not getting any younger, your career is at its peak, and you’re with the man you want to be with forever. Growing your and Eddie’s baby inside you made your heart flutter. Maybe a baby wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. 

You decided to wait a few more days for your period to come just in case it was a fluke. You also didn’t want to take a pregnancy test in Wayne’s house, so you waited until you returned to LA. 

You went out of the bathroom and decided not to tell Eddie anything until you knew for sure. Your mind was racing with all the possibilities. You tried to reel it back in the best you could and engage with the rest of them, but the last few days of the trip have been full of fantasies of a mini-you running around.

🎸𖤐𝄞💿𓆩🎧𓆪 🎸𖤐𝄞💿

When you got home from Indiana, the first thing you did was have your assistant rush to the drugstore. The last thing you needed was to have you papped buying a pregnancy test before you told Eddie anything. It sat on your bathroom counter, taunting you. You were so scared, so nervous about what could be. 

You waited a few days before building up the courage to face reality because your period still hadn’t made its appearance.  

It was six o’clock in the evening, and you had just gotten home from the studio. You had a productive day; you got about 4 songs finished and recorded for the new album coming out in 3 months. You were feeling good about your progress in the studio, and something in you told you to take the test. 

You tried your best to distract yourself in the fifteen minutes for the test to be complete. The longest fifteen minutes of your life were waiting for the results; the second your phone timer went off, you ran back to the bathroom to check the test that sat on the vanity. 

With shaking hands, you lifted it up to your face to see the very prominent plus sign marking the test positive. With a gasp, you felt your stomach erupt in those oh-so-familiar butterflies. You were happy, so happy, you were having a baby! Tears of joy escaped from your tear ducts. You couldn’t believe the news. How are you going to tell Eddie? Would he want to keep it? Would he stay with you? It was so soon; less than two months passed since you had gotten back together. How was VR going to react?! Oh god, you were just getting back in her good graces, this could screw up everything.

The next day, you got an appointment with your doctor; thankfully, they had an opening. They did the blood test, and a day later, they called you to confirm the news that you had been about 3 weeks along. 

You let out the breath you had been holding when you picked up the phone. 

You thanked them and hung up with a shaky hand. The first thing you did was sit and think about your future. You wanted to keep this baby no matter what Eddie's decision will be. You hadn’t booked a tour for this album release yet. You had a meeting with your team next month about it, but would let them know that it would have to be put on hold for now. You hugged your stomach as you thought about how you had not only yourself to think about. You were excited yet terrified all at the same time. 

You were off in your own little baby world the next few days. You had called your mom to tell her because you could no longer keep the secret to yourself.  She was so ecstatic, she cried happy tears, and she called your dad on the phone. She soothed your worries about having to tell Eddie. She reassured you that even if he didn’t want to be a part of the baby's life, she would be there for you, but she also reminded you how he raised a baby all on his own because he could never give up a child. That settled your nerves a bit, but you were still scared out of your wits. 

You spent the afternoon talking to her, brainstorming ways of how you would tell Eddie. Your mom and you thought it would be cute to give him a custom onesie that said “Corroded Coffins smallest fan.” You go on ordering that immediately; you don’t want to keep the secret any longer. 

🎸𖤐𝄞💿𓆩🎧𓆪 🎸𖤐𝄞💿

You were in Eddie’s bedroom getting unready after your dinner date; you hadn’t been feeling the best because of the baby. The nausea had been coming in waves, and Eddie knew you were not feeling the best. Oblivious to what was happening, you told him it was the stress of getting the album done. 

Eddie told you he picked up some ginger tablets because he knew Gravol made you too sleepy. 

“Baby, where are the tablets you bought? My stomach needs to settle,” you asked as you removed your earrings. 

“Uh, check the night stand,” he called over his shoulder, disappearing into the walk-in closet. 

You made your way over to his side of the bed and found nothing but an old copy of Lord of the Rings, a vibrator, and the box of condoms you were supposed to be using; bit too late for that now… 

You then walked to the bedside table on your side of the bed. That made more sense; he would put it on your side for you. 

You opened the drawer, and your heart felt like it stopped.

“What is this?” Your voice cracked.

“What’s what, Sugar?” You could hear the smirk in his voice. 

Your hands trembled as you picked up the small velvet box sitting there wide open for you to see. A diamond ring. It was not just any diamond ring but a pink 4-karat cushion cut with white diamond clusters on the side, staring you in the face. It was beautiful. 

This man could not be serious? This is not how he was proposing to you? 

You felt like you were moving in slow motion as you turned toward Eddie. Tears were threatening to rim your eyes; man, being pregnant really does heighten your hormones. 

Eddie was in the walk-in closet undressing for the evening, and when you didn’t respond to his question, he was confused, so he poked his head out while pulling on his black sweatpants.

To Eddie’s surprise, you held the one thing that had taunted him over the past four years. He had forgotten about it since you came back into his life. How could he be so stupid? Of course, you found it! 

“Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit,” Eddie ran over to you in a panic. He tried to swipe it from you, but you pulled your hand away. 

“Answer me, Eddie, what is this?” 

“A ring,” Eddie answered matter of factly. 

“I know it's a ring, Eddie, don’t play with me right now. What is this?” You tried to keep your voice from cracking again. 

With a deep sigh, Eddie folded an arm over his chest and pinched his brow before letting his head fall back, trying to think of a way to explain. 

“It’s an engagement ring, Princess.” He reached out to your free hand. You let him. “You weren’t supposed to find it.” He sighed. 

“I wasn’t supposed to find the engagement ring left wide open on my side of the bed?” You cocked your head. He had to be joking? So this isn’t how he was proposing? 

“God no, Angel! You think this is how I wanted to propose to you?” He shook his head with disbelief.

“Then why is it sitting in there out in the open for me to find!” You didn’t know what to think; was this even meant for you? Are you jumping to conclusions? “Oh my god, it’s not for me, is it? Fuck I’m so stupid” You shoved the box into Eddie’s hands and ran into the ensuite bathroom. 

“Angel, wait!” Eddie called out to you but your emotions were sighted by one thousand, and you shut the door in his face before he could follow you. 

“Baby, please let me in; I’ll explain everything. Just let me see my pretty girl.” Eddie cooed through the black wooden door. 

You stood there for a moment, unsuccessfully holding back your tears. You didn’t feel pretty, your mascara was running, your stomach was still doing flip-flops, and you looked boated. 

“No,” you refused. 

“Come on now, sweetheart, don’t be like this. I’ll tell you everything.” Eddie watched the doorknob like he was trying to unlock it with his mind. To his surprise, it twisted. You stepped out, walking right past him no less, as you crawled into bed and pulled the duvet over your head. 

Eddie rolled his eyes at your dramatics. You really could be such a brat, but he knew better than to poke the bear right now. 

“Come out from under there, please, so I can talk to you?” Eddie stroked your arm from above the blanket. He didn’t get a worded response, just a muffled grumble. 

“Let me talk to you, pretty girl, don’t act like a child.  Another muffled, grumbled response was made, and he could have sworn you said something about acting however you want because you’re having his child, but it was so muffled he swore that he was just hearing things. 

Eddie tried again, then realized you were not coming up, so he would have to go in. You tried pulling the covers closer to you, but his grip was much stronger than yours. He snuggled in the bed, but you turned to face the other way. 

Eddie could not believe your behaviour right now. 

“Don’t make me take you over my knee, little one,” he seductively whispered in your ear. 

He could not be serious right now? 

“Eddie, don’t,” you huffed. 

“Then quit being a brat and let me talk to you.” he pulled you into him so he was spooning you. 

“You tried to wiggle away, but his strong arm held you in place. You decided to give up and let him talk. The sooner he spoke, the sooner you could escape this stifling heat trap you had created for yourself. 

“What do you want to know?” He kissed your shoulder as one hand trailed lightly up and down the side of your thigh.

“Everything.” You whispered with a light sniffle. 

“Yes, the ring was for you, and no, you were not supposed to find it like that... It's been sitting on that side of the bed for years, taunting me, and I never had the heart to throw it away.” Years? You wanted to cut him off and ask, but you let him continue. “ I had this whole thing planned to put in Italy. You remember?” he cleared his throat. Fuck “Obviously, that didn’t work out like I had hoped. I had forgotten it was there over these past few months because it was no longer a reminder of sad memories. I don’t know why I didn’t move it when we got back together; honestly, I just didn’t think about it. You were never supposed to see it… well, not never…” 

You took a moment to process, then slowly turned around to face Eddie. You placed a hand on his cheek and leaned in to kiss him. You didn’t know what this meant for the both of you now, but the idea of being engaged made you extremely happy. 

“I love you, Eddie.” You whispered as you pulled back. 

“So we are okay?” He nuzzled his nose against yours. 

“Yeah, I think so,” you nod. 

“Good, because I must punish you for being such a brat now.” Eddie threw up the blankets and pulled you over his lap before you knew what was happening.

“NO, we can’t hut the baby!” you shouted, not thinking. 

Eddie’s hand froze mid-air before it could come down on your bottom. 

You covered your mouth, realizing what you had just said as Eddie pulled you back up from his lap.

“What did you just say?” Eddie's eyes were wild while scanning your tummy back up to your face.

“I’m pregnant,” you spilled softly. 

“You’re- you- you’re? A baby?” Eddie pointed to your tummy. 

“This is not how I planned on telling you,” you groaned into your hands before looking up at Eddie, who had the brightest smile on his face. 

“You’re having a baby?” His large hand spread across your lower stomach. You place your hand over his and nod yes. 

“We are having a baby!!” Eddie shot up out of bed and pumped his fists as he ran around the room in excitement. You couldn’t help but laugh; this was the best reaction you could have hoped for. 

“When did you find out?” He ran back over to your side of the bed.

 “Um, not long, about two weeks ago…” 

“Two weeks?! Why didn’t you tell me?” He places a gentle hand over your tummy.

“I was scared… and I was waiting for the gift to come in the mail to help tell you.” You looked down as you started picking at your nails. 

“Scared?” Eddie cupped the side of your face.

“We are so new, and I didn't know if you wanted to be committed to me like that after everything from our past and-”

“No.” Eddie shook his head, cutting you off. “We aren’t doing that; this is the best news I could have ever asked for.” He leaned in to kiss you. “I love you,” another kiss. “I love you,” he moved down to your neck. Kissing you between each sentence. “You’re going to be the best momma… and now I’m going to have to take extra good care of my girl and baby.” Eddie couldn’t hold back his smile. 

Your skin tingled as Eddie made his way down your body with more kisses. You moaned from how his lips brushed so lightly against your skin. Everything had been heightened now that you were pregnant. Every touch, every kiss, every graze was like a bolt of lightning shooting down your body and straight to your clit. 

You moaned his name as he sucked on your neck. His hands gently pushed you up on the pillows resting on the headboard. 

“Have to treat my girl extra special now.” He whispered as he travelled down your body. His strong hands travelled down to the hem of your dress and wasted no time getting you naked. 

“Have to treat this pussy right; it’s going to be giving me the best gift in the world.” He kissed your clit over your panties, and your body jerked. This was the first time you’ve had sex since finding out the news. Your morning sickness had been taking over any time you were with Eddie. You won’t be up for it. 

Your body was so much more reactive, and Eddie noticed. Oh, he was going to have so much fun.

“You like that, Princess?” He stroked his index finger down your clothed slit before hooking a finger under the gusset and pulling them down in one swift motion. 

“Yes,” you panted. 

“Look at that,” Eddie said as he parted your legs. He ran a calloused fingertip through your slick. You grabbed his wrist when he got to your clit. 

“Too much,” you whimpered. It felt like your body was on fire. 

Eddie crawled back up to kiss you; it was soft and tender. His hand trailed up from your centre to your breasts. He cupped one over your bra and massaged gently as you ground your core into his thigh. 

“I can’t wait to worship this body,” Eddie spoke into your mouth. 

You let out a soft moan when Eddie pulled down the cups of your bra and latched his mouth onto your extra-sensitive nipple. Your hips hadn’t stopped moving. Your clit was throbbing as you ground your hips up and down his clothed thigh. Eddie let you use his leg to release the pressure that kept building and building in your lower stomach. The added pleasure of Eddie’s mouth on your peaked bud made your orgasm come faster than ever before. It didn’t take much before you were letting out silent screams. 

“Poor little thing, coming already? Eddie loved this. He was eating it up. 

“Please, please.” You didn’t even know what you were begging for? You were so sensitive, but you needed to feel Eddie or else you would explode. 

“There there little one, Daddy’s got you,” he cooed. 

“Daddy?” You questioned still in your fucked out haze.

Eddie never referred himself to Daddy in bed, only Sir. 

“Yes. Daddy. ‘Nd you’re Mommy.”

Was it weird? Yes. Were you arguing? No. It only turned you on even more. 

“Now stop thinking and let Daddy take care of you.” 

He aligned his hardened shaft with your dripping hole. 

It slipped in without any resistance; you felt every inch, every vein, and especially those glorious silver balls perched at the end of his shaft graze your g spot. 

“Oh my,” you whispered.  

“Aww, look at that little pussy clenching,” he pulled out before spreading you open again and again. 

Eddie wasn’t going at his usual pace; he knew it was silly, but he didn’t want to hurt the baby. He saw that you were so sensitive enough that he didn’t need to. 

He rocked his hips to push in and out of you slowly and methodically. 

“More,” you whimpered, trying to gyrate your hips against his to create more friction!  Eddie pinned your hips down.

“Nuh'uh, don’t fight it.” He threw your legs over his shoulders and leaned in so you folded in half. 

“Please,” you begged. You were so fucked out you just needed to feel every bit of him. 

“My poor little one.” he mocked before reaching his hand down to massage your swollen bud. “Can’t do anything about it, can you?” He was such an ass. 

“Please Eddie, I-I-”

“Oh, I think my cock got you so stupid. It’s not Eddie, baby girl.” He stopped all movement. 

“Daddy, please!” You were on the verge of tears at this point. You were so overstimulated. Every stroke, every brush, every breath was overwhelming you.

“There’s my smart girl.” Eddie bent down to kiss you as his hips thrust into you so deeply that you saw stars. Your body felt like it left and went to another dimension. 

“Keep coming, baby, that’s it.” Eddie didn’t let up. He continued to pound into your cunt until he was spilling himself inside of you. For the first time, Eddie wasn’t worried about him cum filling you up. 

“That’s it. Take it all. You’re my little cum dumpster. Going to fill you get you pregnant all over again.” 

You were too fucked out to realize what he was saying didn’t make any sense. 

You came back down to reality a few minutes later. You were curled up on Eddie’s chest. You could feel the rise and fall of his lungs as the room was filled with heavy pants until Eddie spoke up. 

“I wasn’t too much, was I?” Eddie was worried, worried about hurting you or the baby. You shook your head no in response.

“How did this happen?” Eddie questioned. 

“What? The baby?” You quipped.

“Yeah, I thought it was like impossible to get pregnant with an IUD?” He crunched his face, trying to think. 

Shit.

“I took it out…” you admit. No use lying to him.

“You- you took it out? What? When?” Eddie was shocked.

“I had it taken out over a year ago because I thought it was aiding my depression, you know… hormones and all that.” You bite your lip with anticipation. 

“Baby…” he trailed off. 

“I’m okay now, I swear. I’m doing a lot better,” you promised. 

“You promise to tell me if you ever feel like that again, OK?” 

“Yes, Sir.” You playfully reply. “Oh, that’s how it's going to be?” He raises a brow at you. “I’m trying to have a serious conversation with the mother of my child, and you wanna be a brat?” His fingers started trailing up your sides, tickling your middle. 

“Eddie, stop!” You laugh, but he doesn’t let up. He continues until you’re almost in tears. When he finally gives in, it hits you what he said minutes earlier. You’re the mother of his child. Unborn but still yours nonetheless. 

“I’m going to be a mommy.” You whisper more to yourself than anyone. 

“Yeah, you are.” Eddie’s face lit up like a Christmas tree. 

🎸𖤐𝄞💿𓆩🎧𓆪 🎸𖤐𝄞💿

“You two are so gross,” Violet Rose said as she entered the kitchen the next morning. 

“Huh?” You questioned before taking a bite of the scrambled egg Eddie had made for you

“I don’t ever want to hear your nightly activities ever again." she shuttered.

You felt all the blood drain from your face as you froze from the words she spoke. 

“Oh god, oh god, oh god,” you mumbled under your breath, trying to hide your face in your hands. How mortifying! 

“Mornin’ Cupcake,” Eddie walked back into the kitchen as Violet grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. 

“So gross,” VR cringed and walked away without another word. 

“Hey! You’re still grounded, don’t forget. I don’t need the snarky comments,” he called after her, clueless about what she might have heard the night prior. 

“Baby, you might have to end her punishment early… she has suffered enough.” You try not to laugh, but it was so uncomfortable you don’t know how to react. 

“What?” Eddie looked back at you. 

“She heard us…last night.” you cringe.

“She knows about the baby?” He tilted his head. 

“No, not the baby,” you chuckle. 

“You mean?” Eddie’s eyes went wide at the realization. No wonder she called him gross. 

“Oh god! No, no, no, shit, shit, shit, shit.” 

“Baby, it will be okay.” You tried to console him. 

“Okay? It’s not okay! Probably scarred her for the rest of her life!” He brushed his hands down his face. “She shouldn’t even know what sex is! She’s a baby, my baby!” Eddie was spiralling. 

“She snuck into a club with a fake ID and was with a man twice her age when I found her... hate to break it to you, but she knows what sex is, babe.” You stroke his back, trying to calm him down. 

“She was with who now?” Eddie's face went beat red. Shit. You’d forgotten you hadn’t disclosed that part of the night you found VR at The Red Bottom's. 

“Shhhh shhhhh, it's okay. She got her punishment; she knows what she did was wrong. We are finally getting somewhere with her; let's not ruin it by reminding her of her mistakes.” You cooed. 

“Yea, yea, you’re right,” He sighed. 

“Poor kid,” you shake your head. 

“When do you want to tell her?” Eddie pulled you in by your oversized t-shirt. 

“You think we should tell her now? She is old enough. I don’t wanna keep any more secrets from her.” You wrap your arms around Eddie’s neck.

“Yeah, I think so too.” Eddie landed his forehead on yours. You were about to kiss when Violet Walked back into the room. 

“Oh god! Get a room!” She covered her eyes like she was in physical pain. 

“Sweetheart, come here. We have to share something important.” Eddie patted the bar stool that was beside him. 

“Do I have to? I could be doing, I don’t know, algebra homework or something.” She rolled her eyes. 

“Come, sit” Eddie used that commanding voice that made your pussy tingle. 

“We have some news. Exciting news.”  Eddie emphasized when he wrapped his arm around your waist. 

“You want to tell her, or should I?” Eddie asked as he looked at you. 

“Um, you can tell her, baby” You smiled. You were very nervous about what her reaction would be. You had just broken the surface of making up with her. 

“You are going to be a big sister.” Eddie smiled brightly. 

A few seconds of silence pass before what Eddie said hits Violet Rose. “Shut up!” Violet’s face emulated her father’s as his mouth parted into a toothy smile. 

Well, that was better than expected…

“You’re having a baby!” She jumped up and embraced you in a hug. Tears of joy rose in your eyes, and you nodded. 

“Yeah,” You whispered. 

“Holy shit!” Violet was ecstatic. Now, this really meant you were here for good! You wouldn’t leave her and her father. She finally felt like things would be okay. 

“So you’re okay with this?” You ask with a quivering lip. God, pregnancy really made you a crybaby. 

“Yes! Omg we have to go shopping! We can get all the baby clothes and, oh, the nursery! We can decorate it; I have so many ideas! I saw one Pinterest the other day that was just the cutest! Oh, and we can do a baby shower! And a gender reveal party! But not those lame ones with the smoke or balloon ones that are horrible for the environment- ” She rambled on. 

“Whoah, slow down Cupcake”  Eddie cut her off. “We just found out, so you can’t tell anyone yet; it’s too early.”

“How far along are you?” She bounced up and down on her toes. 

“Five weeks.” You smile. 

“Oh, I'm so excited. I love you guys.” She hooked her arms around your and Eddie’s necks. 

That was the first time you heard her tell you that since she was eleven. The waterworks were starting up again. You’d finally felt like a family again. 

🎸𖤐𝄞💿𓆩🎧𓆪 🎸𖤐𝄞💿

Eddie, Violet Rose and you had lived in your little bubble for the past two months. Things with VR were so much better; she was opening up to you like she used to and trusting you more than ever. Eddie had also asked you to move in with him. 

Even though you loved your little bungalow, having the four of you living there wasn't practical. Eddie’s had so much more space and was always a home to you in the time you’ve known him. You’d convinced Eddie to start redecorating just a little bit. However, you told him the house needed to be brighter. So after some negotiations (letting Eddie do filthy things to you), you got your way and painted the walls lighter. It made the house look so much more significant. Violet cheered when you told her the dungeon she lived in would be given a facelift. 

Today, Eddie and Violet Rose and you were out furniture shopping. You’d wanted to fix the bedroom to make it yours and Eddie’s rather than just Eddie’s. Eddie was fine with anything as long as you were happy. You’d also come across some cribs and changing tables in the store that you loved and marked down to save for the future. 

After hours of looking, you were starving, so you went to lunch at your favourite spot.

Word was starting to spread that you and Eddie had gotten back together. You both hadn’t officially announced anything, but you had been spotted out in public a few times, and the wind was picking up in the tabloids about the both of you, so you were grateful when the restaurant wasn’t bustling.

“The baby is still hungry,” You wined as the waiter walked away with empty plates.  

“Holy shit!” Violet Rose squealed out of nowhere. 

“What?!” You ask.

“Oh my god, I can't believe that's her!” Violet half whispered. She didn’t get excited about celebrities; she grew up with them, so why was she freaking out about this one? 

You look at Eddie and see all the blood drain from his face. 

“What is it?” You grab his hand. 

“Eddie, is that you?” You heard a sickly, sweet voice approach the table. 

You cannot believe who is standing before you as you look to your right. 

“Sarafina, uh, hi- it’s been a while.” He stuttered as she wrapped herself around your boyfriend.  

“Wait, you two know one another? Dad! why didn’t you tell me?” Violet chastised. 

You watched as Sarafina’s face shot towards her daughters. 

“This must be Violet Rose.” She smiled. God, she was beautiful. 

“You know my name?” Violet’s eyebrows shot up.

“Well yeah, I-” she looked to Eddie, and he subtly shook his head no. “I, uh, know your Dad; we go way back. About sixteen years, if I’m not mistaken.” She clearly was hurt by the fact Violet Rose didn’t know she was her mother. 

You’d cleared your throat to take the attention off Sarafina. 

“Oh, I’m being so rude. Where are my manners?” She spoke. “I’m Sarafina, and you are?” 

“This is my Mom. You can call her Poppy or Angel, whatever works,” Violet Rose spoke up, and you and Eddie both wiped your heads toward her.  She hadn’t ever called you her Mom before? “Uh yea, whatever works? It’s very nice to meet you.” You stuck out your hand as a gesture. She didn’t take it. 

“Mom? You’re young enough to be her sister.” You knew it was a jab but weren’t sinking to that level. 

“Yeah, well, she’s a great one.” Eddie grabbed your hand.

“Well, I uh- don’t want to bother you any longer on your little family day.” She cleared her throat. “It was nice seeing you, Eddie,” She nodded and then lingered on Violet Rose before she walked out of the restaurant.  

“What the hell, dad!” Violet spoke as soon as she saw Sarafina exit the building.

“Violet Rose Winnifred Munson. Don’t.” Eddie never used her full name unless he meant it. So she dropped it… for now. She thought about asking you later when her dad wasn’t around. 

The car ride home was quiet until Violet spoke up. 

“So uh, about lunch… I think Sarafina likes you, Dad.” 

“What?” He jerked the wheel a bit, making you squeak. “Sorry baby, but what are you talking about Cupcake?” He looked at her through the rearview mirror. 

“She was totally all over you!” 

“Is that why you called Angel your mom?” Your eyes went wide with curiosity. 

“Well, yeah, partly.” She shrugged. 

“Partly?” You ask, looking back at her. 

“You’re more of a mom than she ever was to me.” Violet had dug into who his dad had been with around the time she was conceived. She got final confirmation when Sarafina said they’d known each other for sixteen years. It wasn’t rocket science to see the similarities in her face and her birth mother's.

Somehow Eddie managed to keep his cool while driving you safely back home before freaking out. The three of you exited the car, and Eddie walked over to Violet Rose. As you watched him engulf his daughter in a suffocating hug, you couldn’t help but sniffle. Damn you, baby hormones. 

“I want you to know how special you are. You are so brave, smart, loving, and funny, and I’m not just saying that because I’m your Dad, okay?” He kissed the side of her head and pulled away. 

“Thanks, Dad. But can I ask…. Why didn’t you tell me?” She asked as you all walked back into the house. 

“Because Cupcake, I know what it’s like to not be wanted by the people who are supposed to love you the most. And I did not want that for you, ever. Growing up, I couldn’t have you seeing that woman everywhere, knowing she asked not to be a part of your life.” Eddie sighed. 

“I love you, Dad, but I’m still trying to wrap my head around this whole thing. I kinda just wanna call Charlotte and tell her what’s happening.” She made her way to the staircase. 

“I’m just going to ask that you ask her not to say anything. I know she won’t, but Sarafina asked that no one knew… that’s part of why I didn’t tell you, kiddo. But you have every right to talk about it… it’s your life, too.” Eddie sighed. 

“Thanks, Dad.” Violet turned and walked up the stairs. 

“You’re a good Dad.” You turned to hug Eddie once VR was out of sight. 

“It’s so hard sometimes.” He nuzzled his head into your neck. 

“But you have me now; you don’t have to do this alone anymore.” You stroked his head. 

“God, I love you.” He leaned in for a deep kiss.

🎸𖤐𝄞💿𓆩🎧𓆪 🎸𖤐𝄞💿

You told Roger and your team you were pregnant a week ago. You were starting to show and couldn't really hide the bump anymore. It's been over three months, and your doctor said the baby was healthy, so it was okay to start telling people. 

Roger was excited, more than enthusiastic; he had ideas on pregnancy announcements. He insisted on a People Magazine cover to announce your and Eddie’s relationship plus the Baby. You’d let him know you would run it by Eddie, but it seemed like he didn’t have a choice. 

“I don’t know about this Princess,” Eddie snuggled you while laying in bed, getting ready to sleep. 

“Come on baby, it could be good for us, like really good! No more sneaking around. I can finally stop worrying about people finding out, and it will probably up record sales.” You stroked his tattooed-clad chest. 

“I hate photoshoots; they’re so long, and I always get so cranky and hungry-”

“Hangry.” 

“Yea, that… and what about you? I don’t want you on your feet that long.” 

“Who says I’ll be on my feet?” you tease. “I’ll probably be in nothing but a sheet, baby. I’ll have to show my little bump, and you can be there with me while I’m practically naked…. Or I can do the same without you and just make it all about me.” you shrug, knowing that won’t fly. 

“No way in hell I’m letting you be naked in a room with a bunch of men without me.” Eddie huffed. 

“Okay, then it’s settled. You’re doing it.” you kiss his cheek and roll over to turn out the light. You could feel Eddie roll his eyes, and you snuggled back into his chest. 

🎸𖤐𝄞💿𓆩🎧𓆪 🎸𖤐𝄞💿 

The magazine cover came out when you were five months along. Your baby bump was more prominent now than on the shoot day. You could finally show it off without worrying about hiding your tummy anymore. It felt like a weight had been lifted from your shoulders. 

“Can’t believe it's finally public,” you sighed. You were in the living room hanging out with Violet Rose. 

“Me too! Now I can finally tell people I will be a big sister!” She applauded. “You think it will be a boy or girl?” She asked. 

“I don’t know yet. I thought I would have a feeling by now, but honestly, I’m unsure.” You rubbed your tummy. 

“Too bad you guys are waiting; I would have planned the best gender reveal party…”  she sighed.   “Speaking of parties.” Violet Rose hesitated, knowing she couldn’t be trusted with going out after being busted. “Charlotte is having a birthday party tonight, and I was hoping you could help me get ready?” 

“And where is this party being held?” You question. 

“At her house, her parents will be there; it is totally supervised, I swear.” She crossed her heart. 

“And your Dad knows you’re going?” You question. 

“Yes, I already spoke to him. I’m sleeping there, so you don’t have to pick me up either. 

“Of course, I’ll help you get ready,” you smile.

You were sat in Violet’s room in a pile of clothing. She was freaking out about what she should wear. Then, after you figured out her outfit, you would help her with her hair and makeup. 

“Ugh! I'm never going to find anything cute enough!” She cried. 

“This is so cute. Wear this!” You pull a black minidress out of the pile she had thrown at you. 

“I wore that last time!” She wined. 

You looked at the clock; it was only 5:00 pm; thank god you had three hours to help her get ready. 

“Come, let’s look in my closet…” you waved her over to follow you to your room.

After settling on one of your outfits, you returned to her room to do her hair and makeup. 

“So any particular reason you are freaking out?” You laugh while blending her bronzer. 

“I’m not freaking out,” She huffed. 

You give her a knowing look. 

“Okay, fine. My crush will be there, and I wanted to look nice for them…” She sighed. 

“Oh, a crush! Do tell.” You wiggled your brows at her. You were so excited she was finally opening up to you again. 

“uh… well.” Violet hesitated. 

“It’s okay, baby, you can tell me,” you reassured her. 

“It’s Char.” She looked down, avoiding eye contact. 

“Oh?” You were taken aback a little; you didn’t think she would be crushing on her new best friend. 

“I, uh. I like both boys and girls.” She twiddled with her thumb. You could tell hoe nervous she was, but you were so happy she opened up. 

“Can I tell you a secret? You lifted her chin so you could continue doing her face. “I like boys and girls too.” You smiled. Not many people knew about your preferences. However, it felt right to let her know she wouldn’t be judged by you.

“What?” Violet Rose’s eyes brightened. 

You nod your head to confirm. 

“Does Dad know?” She asked. 

“Yeah, I told him when we first started the whole fake dating thing.” You shrugged.

“Cool,” she half whispered. 

“So tell me more.” You smile, reaching for the eyeshadow brush. 

“Well she is really pretty, and smart, and funny, and we get along so well. I feel like she’s my other half.” She sighed. 

“Do you know if she likes girls too?” 

“No” her shoulders sunk. 

“Well, she would be crazy not to like you back if she does.” 

“You think so?” She looked up at you with those chocolate eyes. 

“Now, don’t take this the wrong way because I do not condone what you did at the club, but you pulled that guy, didn’t you? You’re beautiful. Your mom’s a supermodel, and you’re funny, charismatic, and kind.” You tell her. 

“She’s not my mom…” She shook her head. 

“You know what I mean-”

“You are,” she cut you off. 

“Ohhhh, don’t you do this to me now!” You jokingly threaten as you try to hold back the waterworks. 

“Pop, I'm sorry I keep forgetting how the baby makes you emotional.” She giggled. 

You sniffle a bit and pull it together to continue her eye makeup.

“Anyway… I hope I figure out what to do.” She sighs.

“Have you told your dad?” You ask, moving on to her hair. 

“No,” she shakes her head. 

“Okay, I won’t say anything until you're ready to tell him yourself.” You smile at her from your reflection in the mirror. 

“Thanks, Mom,” she said with a slight grin. 

“Okay, you’ll have to give me a minute.” You walked to her night side table to get a tissue while she laughed in her vanity chair. 

*knock knock knock* 

“What’s going on in here?” Eddie walked in to see you crying and Violet Rose laughing. 

“She *sniffle* called *sniffle* me *sniffle* Mom.” The dam broke; you couldn’t help it. You had been overcome with so much love. 

“Oh, Angel, come here.” Eddie wrapped his arms around you. He smiled over your shoulder to VR and waved her over. You felt another pair of arms wrap around your shoulder from behind. 

“God, you Munsons are so mushy,” You spoke into Eddie's chest. Your body shook as the both of them giggled around you.

“Don’t tell anyone we have an image to uphold.” Eddie smiled.

“I don’t think anyone is going to be calling you a bad boy after that magazine cover” VR cackled. 

“You’re on thin ice missy, I can make you stay home.” Eddie threatened. 

“Oh baby you can’t do that! We put in hours of work!” You patted your tear-stained cheeks. 

“Fine, I can’t say no to you.” he kissed the tip of your nose.

“OK, people, I have one hour left. I need my hair finished!” She rushed back to the straightening iron. 

“Okay okay” You laughed. “Let’s get you picture perfect.” 

🎸𖤐𝄞💿𓆩🎧𓆪 🎸𖤐𝄞💿

Eddie had it all planned out for months. He had consulted Violet Rose on proposal ideas. She suggested a pamper day.  He was taking you on a lovely day out, and you were getting a maternity massage, then getting your nails and hair done. Then he would take you shopping if you weren’t too tired before he took you home to cook a nice dinner. After dinner, he would pop the question.

Violet Rose planned a sleepover so you could have the house to yourself. She didn’t want a repeat of the last time she heard about your extracurricular activities. 

When Eddie told you of your plans today, he wasn’t surprised at your shocked reaction. You were seven months pregnant, and he told you it was because you’d been working so hard to finish your album. The release date was pushed back because you felt the songs weren’t working. Eddie told you that the stress wasn’t good for the baby and you needed a day for yourself.

Eddie went with you to every appointment. He also got himself a massage while you had yours. He sat and waited for you while your nails and hair were done without a peep. 

You told him you would go shopping another day; your feet were swollen and still bothering you. You went home and took a nap, and when you woke up, Eddie had placed your favourite slippers by the bed so you didn’t have to step on the cold floor. He also placed your favourite maternity dress out for you next to a note that said to get ready for your date.

You could smell something delicious from the kitchen when you stepped out of the bedroom. As you rounded the corner, you saw a candle-lit dinner ready and plated waiting for you. 

“Baby, what’s this?” You ask, seeing Edie put the final touches on the table.  Eddie turned and smiled. Fuck he looked so good tonight. Eddie was also dressed up. He wore the same black silk shit he wore the first time the two of you met, paired with a nice pair of black dress pants and a classic understated black belt. 

“Morning, sleepyhead,” Eddie greeted you with a kiss.

“You try growing a person and see how tired you get,” You giggle, walking towards your chair. 

Eddie steps over to pull it out for you. Forever your gentleman. 

“Thank you, baby. What's all this?” You asked as he scooted you in. 

“Can’t a man take care of his perfect, beautiful woman?” He smirks. 

“What did you do?” You ask. He is being suspicious. 

“Now, why would I have had to do something to treat the woman I love?” He raises his brow to you. 

“Don’t know? I feel like you’re doing so much for me today; I’m surprised.” You take a sip of the water he poured you. 

“Well, the night is still young, cheers.” Eddie held up his glass. 

Eddie pulled you out to the yard for fresh air after your meal. The backyard was decked out in what seemed to be hundreds of twinkle lights. There was a gazebo in the back by the pond that you liked to read in. He led you towards it and saw it covered in plush blankets and pillows. 

“Eddie, what’s all this?” You whispered in amazement. Eddie had a team come in and set everything up while the two of you were running your errands.

“Come,” he held your hand as he helped you up the steps. 

“Angel…” Eddie took a deep breath.

“Yes?” You looked up at him, and he swore your eyes twinkled. 

“I have loved you from the moment you flirted with me at your show. I never knew someone could make me feel this way, and honestly, I didn’t believe in love because I had never found it until I met you. I never want to lose you again.  You are the light of my life, my everything. You own my soul. I never have and never will stop loving you.” He knelt down on one knee. 

Your hand flew up to your mouth when he pulled out the ring you found a few months ago.

“Will you spend the rest of forever with me?” 

Your hands shook as he pulled the ring out of the box and slid it up your finger. 

“See, it was always meant for you. I just got it a little too early,” he smirked. 

You crouch over as much as you can with your belly and pull him in for a deep kiss.

“So, is that a yes?” Eddie pulled away.  

“You’re sure you want this baby? You want me forever? Us forever?” You cupped your lower stomach. 

“Of course, baby, I’ve wanted you forever.” he cupped your face with both hands. 

“So?” 

“Yes, Eddie, I’ll marry you,” you smile. 

Eddie let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. 

“You sure you wanna be stuck with me forever?” Eddie chuckled. 

“Yes” you cupped your hands over his. 

“Good, because I’m never letting you go ever again.” 

~end~

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[twelveletterstoyou]

1

To Harry,

Growing up alongside you was all summers. I honestly cant remember a single moment of my childhood without you next to me. Since we were in cradles we were eachothers home base; or atleast, you were mine. Whispering secrets to eachother under soft blankets while my parents were away and seeing which jellybean flavour was our least favourite (it was black licorice) we spent every moment of every day together. You were my brother. As the years have passed I find myself wondering what you're doing at this current moment; do you have a midterm you're studying for? I look out of my window and wonder if you're looking at the same sky I am right now. I'm sorry for how I turned out. I apologize to myself everytime I smoke because I remember who we used to be when we were young and hope you can forgive me on behalf of my younger self. Two sides of the same coin never seen without the other and now I see you once a year at most. I hope you think about me from time to time too. Regret fills me everytime I remember us laughing and fooling around at the pool when we were growing up, I always was a better swimmer than you after all. One day you surpassed me and I don’t think I ever forgave you for that. I don’t think I will ever forgive you for outgrowing me but I hope you can forgive me for outgrowing you. I thought life would get easier once I got out of our town but I guess I was wrong. Im alone. sometimes I wonder, if I were to stop caring so much all the time if anyone would notice? You wouldn't. You never did. I was always high strung, even as a child everything had to be perfect all the time. But you were there to balance me out by always being so relaxed. I was always so jealous of how you could live your life so carefree and yet be so adored. I wish people could adore me in the way I was mystified by you. Would our child selves be proud of where we are? Who we've become? Or would they walk past us whispering to each other and giggling. I've become everything I swore to never be. I hate the person I've grown into, so narcissistic, a nicotine addict, a stoner, someone who cares too much for so little in return. I never ask for much but I ask of you to look at the stars in the sky and think about how we used to cook marshmallows in my backyard under the moonlight in the hot summers. Surrounded by our siblings yet in a world completely foreign to their own. Harry, I know you will never read this and I hope you never do but remember our childhoods well.

Sincerely,

12.

[yyenotss]

15.06.23

the world is a beautiful place.

i used to think i was destined for the worst. ever since i was young, i was the one forced to take care of things. i didn't mind, until i felt the crack.

i remember being about 13 when i felt the crack, but i didnt just feel it; i heard the very moment my soul, my sanity, my humanity; shattered.

i was 13 when my childhood was ripped away. working tirelessly to keep the lights on while my mother carelessly tore apart our family.

i would tell my father about the long nights we sat locked outside an empty house waiting for her. she would miss mine and my siblings school functions, she would leave us outside in the dark hours past when she would come. she would beat us rather than dinner; that is when myself and the world around me slowly crumbled.

i was made to look crazy, i was the one that got their childhood ripped away, i was the one that took the abuse, i was the one that saved our family.

at times i look at the situation and feel angry. at times i look at the situation and feel robbed; robbed of my life and childhood.

the reasoning behind most things i do, have everything to do with you and i hate it. no matter how much i tell you i have forgiven you, no matter how much i say i have forgiven myself for even allowing myself to go through that; i cant escape it. because ultimately, you took something from me that i can never get back, just like everyone else.

you didnt care that you had a family, you didnt care about how much you hurt us, you didnt care that my father along with myself sacrificed EVERYTHING so our family could be ok.

ultimately, i have forgiven you; but i will never forget the pain you caused. the pain you caused the man that picked you up after an abusive relationship, that took you and your son in and gave you a roof over your head. the pain you caused the ONE man, that did not and never will give up on you and his family.

ultimately, i have forgiven you; but i will never forget. the bruises and scars you gave me will forever be engraved in my skin. everytime you raise your voice, i will clench and look for my siblings to get them to safety.

ultimately, i have forgiven you; but your mark will forever be apart of me. it will forever be apart of me because you stopped looking at me as your child and more of an outlet.

i have forgiven you, but i will never forget.

[pinkseas]

[parasocial bestie] NAWT ME TRYING TO GO BACK MY OWN TAG AND LIKE. REMEMBER WHICH TF RESPONSE I HAVE NOT RESPONDED its compulsory i must answer to Everything or i will die so Anyway im throwing everything in one ask HAHA

THE POST WITH THE LYRICS,... XIAOCORE,..... "When you said that I was killing myself / I've killed everything but my shame" indicating xiao wasnt regretting all the hurt he's done to himself be it from his duty or the repercussions bc he knows he Deserves it and takes it without caring any dignity like YOU JUST CANT

and adnd and!! GOWSH IT MAY BE A SHORTER SCENE OBV NOT MAIN FOCUS OR WHATEVER u gonna add in the next xiaolumi fic but i am just. gosh they mean saur much 2 me,..... he's concussed. zhongli frets like a mother. he's concussed what did he do to reach that point how serious it is to get zhongli fret like a mother. i am jUSTTTTTTT

and u. the. the xiao's mom you really went there you madmanwomangirlgnc. i read it all and i am crying sobbing at 4am that time. i am not okay i jsutcant believe this i cannot believe. the traits that she used to have that unconsciously influences xiao and at some point used in an unhealthy way than she intended for him to learn. "she sees no use dwelling in the past", he sees every. single mistake of it, of what he did even if it's out of his will. but also disregarding how he used to be, of that suffering if others know, and with the goodest of intentions- to point out what he's been through makes him deserving of care. my guy twists the morals so he can have his existence barely known so he can continue that quest of redemption he never had to do, or has long been redeemed.

"(she names him alatus, gives him wings the only way she can. may he never be trapped as she was for so long. may he always find a way to fly.) / (funny, really, how that works out.)" I AM LITERALLYYYYY NOT OKAYYYY I AM SO!!!!!! OK BUT I JUST,SF.FSFLDF THINK ABOUT HIS WINGS THE MOMENT U MENTIONED IT like. yeah bird adeptus yes absolutely its always canon but the thing about his wings. like how do you hc he lost it. ppl would go for amputation, or its still salvageable but it's been rendered so bad it doesnt have the strength for him to take flight. id pick one but i cant cuS MAN BOTH HAVE THEIR OWN UNIQUE PROGRESS OF GRIEF FOR HIM,..... to lose flight entirely is to lose part of himself and that's been like that for millenia it gets even harder once he knows lumine had wings before that HAS a chance to be obtained again,..... but for now they share that loss of wings, to feel the wind in your face as you fly higher and higher into the clouds.......

"it isn’t her fault or negligence or neglect that leads to him being taken. it’s the cruelty of the world and bad luck, plain and simple. he remembers missing her. he remembers missing her so much it ached." everytghing that comes after thsis. everything. i just,. im so,... sogdgfg im SO

"he makes her a grave. it takes a very long time. there’s no name and a marker only he would recognize. it’s nothing special. he thinks, distantly, that she deserved more than this. but it’s all he has, and that will have to be enough. and then he does what she always did, what she always taught him to do: he moves forward." dead on the floor

"you cant stop turning to talk to them only to realize you’re facing an empty space. paimon helps. paimon really, truly helps. but she’s her own person, a friend, not a sibling or a twin. not a replacement. not even close." WITH THE WAY I HOLD PAIMON FOR DEAR LIFE, THIS IS A REALITY I HAVE TO FACE AS MUCH AS HER!!!!! SHE IS NO REPLACEMENT!!! so i had to dig one of my other brainrot drafts where paimon had been a lil guilty for not contributing anything to the chasm, snapping at lumine for trying to reason her. pasting that sht here cus it still gets me despite im not exactly a Writer (and i like to put a lil sad quirk that paimon can go off third person in her speech if she's serious on it)

Her outburst was over with a harsh sob, and the pixie looked even smaller than physically possible. Paimon wiped her eyes roughly with a puffy sleeve, and Lumine wondered how contradictive her companion is when it comes to self expression. “... I wanted to do something.” “Not just talking, not just… being like this.” The pixie kicked the air weakly, fiddling with the folds of her shirt. “But it’s why I talk most of the time, so you don’t have to. Maybe then I’ll get to know Teyvat better, and how to get out of things faster. The Chasm was… scary.” 

"Getting trapped there is different than when you were almost split in half most of the time." Paimon rubbed her eyes again, a sniffle too quiet to be heard.  "'Cause your brother won't find you that way, and it means I broke my promise to you."

SO. YEA. paimon my emotional support flying nugget

"it def influenced my own thoughts on the travelers and their powers and how strong they were Before teyvat and how its changed them after" "i keep lumi and aether in that space between mortal and god / theres so much wiggle room and them as gods outside of very specific portrayals doesnt feel right to me / but theyre definitely VERY powerful and very inhuman imo"

PERSONALLY i looooooooove the different interpretations of the twins being primordial gods,.. or like as you said, that space between mortal and god, though to me i dont have a strong enough picture when it comes to defining what exactly they are in nature but def in that little space. cus i like to characterize lumine AND aether as human as they can and are, probably bc im projecting probably bc im a bitchass on a god's ego and personifying that. i revolve the story of the twins' journey regarding humanity, but more on them leaning to feeling human and mortal than a god, bc they HAD been gods before. or at least something equivalent.

and actually? my first impression of the twins to push the hc isnt through these typa fics, its from the theory that tied the twins with hyv's other game honkai impact 3rd; that theyre sort of 'scouts' that travels throughout space for a habitable world while honkai is close to its own cataclysm by Advanced Development being a threat to gods; just like khaenriah. so like. its a mess of a theory i saw long ago but ye kno!! its been stuck in my head since, and it solidifies my thought to lumine acting like a human bc she is, or was, with whatever happened in between turning her and her brother into who they are now. in that little space between.

so like!! for these twins. aether is more empathetic, he understood far more than lumine ever does, bc he doesnt focus on the duty more than the ppl he meets. lumine being the more calculative and speculative twin, doing strategies and being first in the offense- altho aether is the one ready to back her up and in the frontline, her tank and shield. hes more carefree, more kind, what nara varuna had been to the aranara is what he had been still. to cry for the forest people, to cry for those even if he thought; lumine would tell me to think this again, to not rely too much whats in his heart. now without him in the picture, she asks herself her own question. she looks back at how ae would do, would act and think thats not as far as she does. that lumine thinks through logic, and aether thinks through compassion. and then to the present where he's gone and she'd slowly fill the space he had been into her own personality, learning how he had been bc the aether she saw now was not there anymore. like gooooshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh IDKKKKKKKKKK

NO BECAUSE ME HANDSHAKE YOU GOING THROUGH THE TAG TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT HAS AND HASN'T BEEN RESPONDED TO PLEASE THAT'S SO FUNNY OF US

"indicating xiao wasnt regretting all the hurt he's done to himself be it from his duty or the repercussions bc he knows he Deserves it and takes it without caring any dignity" exactly <3333333333333 no bc like. he doesnt Care he doesnt care about how much it hurts him hes so convinced that he DOES deserve it, its just part of his life part of his duty nothing more and nothing less. but that doesnt stop the shame that comes with anything he perceives as failure (which is definitely A Lot Of Things) or shit like being too injured to continue fighting im so. fmgnfgmnfmngmf

it may not be the Main focus but zhongli and xiao's relationship in this fic is basically the second biggest focus beyond xiao himself/the xiaolumi of it all tbh, even before we started talking before The Brainrot Festivals i knew i really wanted to highlight their relationship and dynamic and the way i was portraying them, zhongli will definitely be a very important part of it !! as for. what led to xiao being concussed and zhongli fretting that much. well. smile. im a fan personally although i DO really need to polish up the scene i did it so long ago its such a mess...... god thats ognna be SO fun i should try to do that today

"you madmanwomangirlgnc" GIGGLING SM HELP

"the traits that she used to have that unconsciously influences xiao and at some point used in an unhealthy way than she intended for him to learn." yeah <3333 "my guy twists the morals so he can have his existence barely known so he can continue that quest of redemption he never had to do, or has long been redeemed." NO BECAUSE LITERALLYYYYYYYYYYY its so fucked up i am going to Squeeze Him i am going to pour so much love into him that it overflows and turns into self love on god.

"but the thing about his wings. like how do you hc he lost it. ppl would go for amputation, or its still salvageable but it's been rendered so bad it doesnt have the strength for him to take flight. id pick one but i cant cuS MAN BOTH HAVE THEIR OWN UNIQUE PROGRESS OF GRIEF FOR HIM" w. well you see. the problem is. i have basically Never Thought About This. ive considered him with wings and thought about the Having but not the losing. so here are some thoughts off the top of my head, not all viable in canon but yknow

he still has them, but has rendered himself incapable of true flight. got rid of the flight feathers after rex lapis freed him, quite literally grounded himself in liyue. devotion and punishment all in one. i dont actually like this one too much but it was one of my first thoughts just in terms of wanting him to still have them but flight being out of reach

the god who enslaved him injured them beyond repair very very early on when xiao was doing his best to fight back against it, caging him in more ways than one. a show of control and power over him, a way to further force xiao to bend to his will. with proper care and healing they may have recovered, even as horrifically mangled as they were, but naturally that never happened

he still had his wings serving that god, but those victims who fought back against xiao when he came for them eventually damaged them beyond flight and/or beyond repair in an attempt to ground him and make him less dangerous/take him down

^^^^^ in either of those two above scenarios i like to imagine that the remains still cling to him when he's freed, and either zhongli or the other yakshas eventually help him fully remove them. they're a mess, they're dead weight, and they're never going to heal- he'd rather them gone completely than dragging on him like this, a constant reminder of what he'd (rightfully, in his own mind) lost

zhongli and/or some of the other adepti end up fighting xiao himself before the god who he serves is killed, and it isnt until then that his wings are damaged truly beyond repair and taken from him. he kneels and they're mangled, bloodied and broken, hanging limply from his back, and all he wants now is to die free. he doesnt deserve to live, not after what he's done. but death would be too kind, too, and so he accepts it when his life is spared, swears himself to morax instead. whoever it was who fucked his wings up like that feels awful about it, they approach him eventually to apologize. xiao doesn't know how to tell them how relieved he was to be rid of them in that moment, to have the ties to his past self fully cut. it's easier like this, if he's made anew, made to serve a new purpose, if he can abandon any semblance of love or naivety or innocence he once carried. it hurts something deep inside of him to imagine that that child survived. easier to see him buried, easier to separate himself from it all.

okay i think that's all ive really got id have to take some more time to think abt it ummmm. i think i like the last one the most? combined with the idea that it's zhongli or the yakshas who finally get rid of them? something about someone else being there, xiao not so much as flinching as an entire limb is severed from his body, the literal and emotional weight that vanishes with them. the scars are clean and smooth. xiao neither regrets their loss nor blames the one who ruined them. the wish to have them back goes hand in hand with the wish to have the rest of him back, to be who he used to be, and there's no use in thoughts like that. not anymore.

"it gets even harder once he knows lumine had wings before that HAS a chance to be obtained again,..... but for now they share that loss of wings, to feel the wind in your face as you fly higher and higher into the clouds......." o(-( crying shaking sobbing on the floor YEAH............ that shared loss. god. both of them mourning the freedom it granted them, both of them holding anemo so close to their hearts because it's not the same but it's enough.

LOSING MY MIND OVER YOUR PAIMON BRAINROT GODDDDDDDDDDDD

"'Cause your brother won't find you that way, and it means I broke my promise to you." this broke me. this Broke Me. SHE DOESNT WANT TO BREAK HER PROMISE SHE WANTS THEM TO BE REUNITED....... EUEUEUUEUEUEUUEU

"i revolve the story of the twins' journey regarding humanity, but more on them leaning to feeling human and mortal than a god, bc they HAD been gods before. or at least something equivalent." this FUCKS this is such a good way to look at it and direct it holy shit ??? learning to feel human learning to live as mortal people do learning the values of life itself learning how to love the little things....... man. Man.

"that theyre sort of 'scouts' that travels throughout space for a habitable world while honkai is close to its own cataclysm" i dont know SHIT about honkai but god that sounds so fucking cool and also huge rip to them oh my god... going out to scout a new world On A Time Limit and suddenly its 500+ fucking years later giggling sm

"with whatever happened in between turning her and her brother into who they are now. in that little space between." THIS IS SO GOOD them having been human once and eventually reaching the point where they are now......... g o d

"he doesnt focus on the duty more than the ppl he meets. lumine being the more calculative and speculative twin, doing strategies and being first in the offense" YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH this is something that can be so <3333 and her looking back and thinking about what aether would do THE AETHER SHE'S SEEN NOW ISN'T THERE ANYMORE.... GODDDDDDDDD im so. the mourning that comes with losing a twin, not knowing if they're dead or alive or where or how to find them, the mourning of your other half of always being known of living spent together. and the desperate hope of seeing them again only for that to come crashing down because this isnt who you knew, isnt who you remember, not at all. you are standing in front of a stranger. they still act like they know you, but you dont know them. not anymore. not at all. and that's its own unique kind of grief, to have someone who used to be your everything right there and to know nothing about them.

[mental-health-advice]

Update

Manor suicide and overdose warning

I keep falling lower and lower, in a especially deep moment I looked up whether my current and previous anti depressants could kill me in overdose.

I think that was a bad idea as I now live with the knowledge that if I am in that severe low I could take them all at once fully aware of the effects

I still know I wont ever function in the real world, a conflict with my grandmother proved that today once again. So it got extremely tempting because, well, if I cant function I might as well avoid causing any more issues for my family long term yk . Plus for myself too.

If my grandparents die I might need to go back to my abuser and deal with her. The only thing that would prevent me there is not wanting one of my siblings to find my body. But if they weren't home and only our mother would be,,,

...

Is it bad or evil of me that if I die, be it sui, an accident or health/natural cause, I'd want my mother to be the one to find me? After everything she put me through and the amount of abuse i faced from here that she still won't acknowledge-

Ik I wouldnt be able to see her reaction, see the look on her face. But imagining it gives me some sort of closure and a part of me wishes for that to be reality. She never deserved to become a mother, she's an abuser just like hers was. So the knowledge I have full control over taking her oldest (me) away, this time forever, is extremely dangerous to me.

She claims to put her kids about all else, yet abused her kid.

I remember her threatening to kill me, me in a panic texting my friends as I genuinely thought I'd die that day. Months later it came up - she gaslight me over it, her ex who used to live with us backed her up even tho he was in the room.

I had to scroll back months of chat history to find it to know I didn't make it up.

God I desperately want her to actually fucking realize what she did wrong instead of playing victim.

My only reason to stay alive are 3 or 4 of my 6 siblings, a couple of friends who all live abroad and cant come help me. Idk what to do anymore -☆ (anon)

Hey there,

Doing research on your current and past anti-depressants wasn’t really the best idea but I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t done it myself so I am sure others have too at one time or another so feel don’t be too hard on yourself.

Before you feel really low and really think about taking them all in a way to try and commit suicide, could you maybe separate the meds and put them in different hiding places. And so then when you feel those urges and really want to take them all, you actively have to try and find and get them all which may help you to get some clarity in your mind and really think if you want to go through with it or not.

Unfortunately, I, or anyone, really can’t stop you from taking your own life, but remember of those siblings you don’t want to hurt or your good friends who live abroad. Actually one thing I do with my friends who live abroad is sending letters back and forth with them in the mail or parcels of things (even if it’s something small), it can be so exciting to get something in the mail from someone from a whole different country so maybe this is something you could try if you haven’t already!

In regards to if you do die and  wanting for your Mum to find you, I don’t think that this makes you bad or evil. Whilst I do not know what abuse you may have endured by your Mum, I’m sure everyone at some stage has thought about this and who they would like to find them.

I think though that if your Mum was to find you that she would be in shock and very sad. No matter what kind of relationship (good or bad) you have had with someone, it’s never nice to find someone dead and not being able to do anything about it. It can be quite scary and really confronting and although your reasoning behind this may sound rational right now, I can guarantee that no one deserves to find someone who has died whether it was via suicide, an accident or other natural causes. I am not in any way tyring to make you feel bad or guilty about this and wanting your Mum to find your body, but it is something to think about and keep in mind.

In regards to not feeling as though you can function in the real world, aren’t you functioning somewhat already? I am not saying that it’s easy, but you have already come so far so perhaps instead of looking too far in the future you can instead just try to take things day by day? Just a thought.

I really hope that this has helped a bit and please do let us know if we can help to support you in any other way!

I’m thinking of you and hope that you are going OK!

Take care,

Lauren

[sharedcontrolau]

okay but like i am having ideas about the player snowgrave route

extra boss guy convinces them to cut the strings of the darkners they encounter. player is worried at first, remembering what happened to spamton after his strings were cut, but bossman takes them away before they collapse. see? theyre fine, they say, making sure player doesnt look back to see their goons taking the limp bodies away. player only sees the brief moment of freedom and happiness the darkners have before they cannot keep themselves up anymore. was spamton just an outlier then? an exception, when cutting the strings of the darkners is actually beneficial? soon enough, theyre cutting strings with wild abandon, sort of at ease with their previous dilemma. theyre doing something right! they arent just an otherworldly entity forcing someone to do what they want! theyre freeing darkners from their puppeteer, like the hero they’re supposed to be!

the fun gang arrive in a world half decimated by their once-protector. kris is frantic, trying to find their sibling. they ask a darkner for directions. it points them in a direction and gives them a warning: beware the string cutters, for they will leave you without anything to support yourself with, and discards you without a second thought. this is actually serious, they realize. player could be getting themselves hurt trying to stop these string cutters, so they race off to find them.

player’s hands tremble as they stand before the fun gang. ‘strike them down’ , their guide says. ‘theyre blocking your way and preventing you from freeing the people here. are you going to let a few familiar faces stop you from being a hero?’

kris begs for player to stop listening, cant they see that theyre being manipulated? susie yells at them to pull their head out of their ass- they messed up big time, sure, but they know player isnt like that, theyre their fourth member. their best friend. ralsei stays quiet, but his judging stare is enough to make them drop their staff.

they drop to their knees, unwilling to fight the children they swore to protect.

Player probably needs the Sharp Scissors (+15AT, “a light touch is enough to draw blood”), then the Silver Shears (+30AT, “even the light reflecting off is stings”)

Player probably has moments where their mental health is beginning to take obvious hits, crying and having panic attacks the further down the route they go.

Kris is enraged once they realize what exactly these people have been doing to Player and the Extra Boss comments on this, “what’s with that face, kid? You look like you want me dead.” It’s ultimately Kris who finally breaks through to Player:

Back at home, Player breaks down, crying that they fucked up so hard and hurt so many people. Susie’s like “I’m not going lie, you did. But those two, especially that Extra Boss guy, they saw you weren’t doing well. And they took advantage of that. So don’t go acting like you’re the only one that deserves to be blamed.”

Player tries to recover the best they can. Ralsei doesn’t seem to trust them again, and that’s fair, they earned that. They’re honestly not sure of going back to a previous save point is the right thing to do. They didn’t deserve to die, and Player doesn’t deserve to walk away with no consequences